Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Further to the discussion

Wow blog discussions are fun, for full background to this post check out moonflake's blog. Just to clarify: I'm not attacking moonflake, only her position. ;)

I don't think I've got much to hide, and if that was the only factor influencing me here I'd say, sure go ahead check my ID, arrest me if there's a warrant out for my arrest. The problem is that I don't trust the police! Do you?

I'm not just talking about honesty here, corruption is a serious flaw in our police force but I doubt that would really affect me on a personal level. I'm also talking about the ability to make a reasonable and rational decision. Let face it, being a cop is not the best job in the country, and for that reason it doesn't attract the best candidates. Sure the odd police man does his job because he loves keeping people safe and shit, but most of them get the job because the only entry qualification is a std 8 certificate. Honestly, considering what the job entails, who's want to be a cop? Long hours, extreme danger, very little pay and almost no respect: sounds like a winner to me, not! It's kinda like that book 'catch 22' where bombing missions were so dangerous that nobody wanted to do them, but the only way to avoid bombing missions was to be declared insane, unfortunately the only way to be declared insane was to volunteer for bombing missions!

My experiences with the police have not been altogether pleasant. Now if I was a Cape Flats drug dealer or something that would be expected but because of the fact that I'm an average law abiding citizen it has me a little worried. I'm talking about the attitude received when going in to report a robbery or car accident, or paying a friends admission of guilt fine and bailing him out of the can. In my experience cops are bullies who don't really give a shit about you but think it's cool that they get to carry a gun. Oh guns, that reminds me of the whole debacle around the gun amnesty and the "great" way the police handled that. Don't even get me started on their seriously below average filing and information systems!

here are some complaints about the SAPS that kinda support my point:

I tried to report a misuse of privilege to the SAPS Crimestop line, where a car driving with blue lights and sirens nearly rammed into me on the N1. The funny thing is, I would have understood the situation if there was a crime, but then I saw the same police vehicle not 5 minutes later at McDonalds enjoying a burger. Was the officer so hungry that he needed to use his lights and sirens to buy a burger? I even have a photo taken with my cellphone (before and after) proving the allocations.

Seeing that there is no other way of reporting such misuse, I phoned the SAPS Crimestop line thinking that they would respond to my report. The person on the other end of the line simply laughed at me replying that it is the privilege of the police to use their lights and sirens whenever they choose to do so.

How would crime and corruption stop if citizens try to report such events and simply get laughed off? Disgusting service !



My moms 1300 slow 1992 chico was stolen and tracked down within minutes by TOP security whom she doesn't even subscribe with. They chased the car till they met up with a metropolice car and it pursued and lost the vehicle.8 days later SAPS finds the car drives it to their car lot somewhere in Benoni and contacts my mom.When she gets there she inspects the vehicle allong with my ex cop couson only to find that SAPS has been helping themselves to several parts of the car.The evidence is clear as theyr tools that they used was still lying under the hood and all the cables/hoses that they cut off was lying next to the car.When my mom confronted the captain he said theres nothing he can do and said she could open the case against the department, another officer there commented that it could take atleast 5 years though. According to my couson, some officers of the so-called law strip cars as they see it as a police officers perc/benefits. The long arm of the law seems to be very short in this country as it helps itself, we need officers that will uphold the law and not abbuse it and when they do they should have captains that would actually give a dam and repremand them!


Ideally I'd like to trust in the Police force so much that if a van pulled up to me on the street and the cop inside said "get in" I'd know it was for my own good and obey him, not be worried that I was about to be an unwilling participant in a "dog training" exercise. Unfortunately the above comments only strengthen my case. Also they go to show me how police corruption could actually affect me on a personal level, not to mention being shot by an illegal gun that they sold to some criminal.

This all reminds me of another conversation moonflake and I had: There's nothing wrong with totalitarian governments, as long as I'm in charge of them!

Responses? I said this was serious debate!

Anyway, back to the real world, the game last night was fun, I'm sorry we upset zenstar and I promise to only talk when in character or describing my characters actions next week, well as much as is humanly possible.

Looks like the blog is about to tick over to that big 1000, get yer screen capture fingers ready


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Weekend Report Back and Serious Debate

This weekend was great. I got a new home entertainment system and had some friends round for supper on Saturday night. Zenstar set up the HES for me and I roasted a leg of pork. It was the best pork roast ever! Everybody thought I was totally stressed from all the work, I was actually loving it, It was really fun. Then I slept through the first half of "ladykillers" and woke up to catch the end which I hadn't seen. Thanks to everyone involved for making it a good time.

On Sunday I tried to watch "Closer" which was utter crap!!! Ended up watching "Bad Santa" which was okay.

Yesterday my dad was on the arse end of a four car pile up on the N2 and I had to go help him out with that. That's why there was no blog post.

And today I'm back at work.

I was going to comment on this story but Moonflake beat me to it. Good thing I don't agree with her or I'd have nothing to talk about!

Here's the thing, these searches are illegal. Cops should uphold the law, not break it. If people think that cops should be allowed to do these kinds of things then they should get the laws changed, speak to your local representative. Our constitution upholds the individual's right to privacy for various reasons, not least of which is to avoid persecution and harassment. This is to say that police officials require evidence against you before they are permitted to detain or search you, this is to prevent the random abduction of people off the streets because they might be on a list of people who have committed crimes. Can you imagine a scenario where the people waiting for a bus are rounded up, taken back to the station, finger printed and detained until such time as it is certain that they did not commit any of the crimes currently listed?

It's also to prevent the police from abusing their power, case in point: the VIP protection services detaining the scorpions special investigative unit and preventing them from investigating charges against Ex-VP Zuma, or detention of opposition party members in our "oh so democratic" neighbour Zimbabwe.

Also these methods are totally inefficient. Ostensibly what the police are doing is going: "we have a list of names of people who have committed crimes, but how can we catch them", "let’s go and see if we can find any of them in these arbitrary restaurants!". Surely their objectives would be more efficiently served by going directly to the homes or workplaces of the listed offenders and arresting them. This argument is supported by the fact that no one was detained for traffic offences during the Friday night raid, only five people were arrested and those on immigration and drug charges. The 550 number quoted in the paper was for people arrested at roadblocks previous roadblocks. Now if the police say they achieved their objectives on Friday night then one must question exactly what these objectives were. Were the police just fishing? How safe does that make you feel?

Anyway after that I leave you to pursue more Jenga madness.


Breaking News

Adderly Str Standard Bank was just robbed. More details later, remeber you heard it here first!

Friday, August 26, 2005


Well I logged on this morning only to find that by blog advertiser had stopped showing ads in South Africa. So as you may have noticed I'm back to good ol' google. That was a bunch of template changes I could have done without. I screwed up and and had to reload the standard template and start at scratch.

I'm pleased to announce the completion of yet another successful SchpatDope, go give it a read. Also look out for the first question answered by Mitsy's. She's doing fine by the way, supported by ad clicks, yeah!

Anywho, went back to thursday night role-playing and had a blast, also played more Jenga and that was fun too. But it's definitely better with James and Yanke to up the tense stakes.

Not much has happened to day and I don't have any opinions to share with you so here is some funny:

When a Saw the headline: "Breast model teaching aid"
was not what I was expecting.

These folks have formed part of a human exibit in the London zoo.

Well apparently homeopathy a croc, who woulda guessed?

Finally, Jools, Jamie Oliver's wife, has admitted to cooking in the nude to turn her hubby on. What's more disturbing is that she makes a special effort at Christmas, she wears nothing but a pair of jingle bells on her boobs and does a silly dance! Apparently no complaints from Jamie.

Later people.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

DickHeads and Bombers

Well as usual towards the end of the week enthusiasm to blog tends to wane. I will however tell you that I'm deeply upset by the biker that tried to commit "suicide by schpat" in the traffic this morning.

Picture this: Cape Town, 2005. It's a crowded Freeway, the trafic is bumper to bumper and schpat needs to change lanes. So he indicates, moves over to the side of his present lane and waits for a gap to open. Soon enough a gap does indeed open and schpat calmly starts moving into it. All this is happening at about 1 m/sec. At this point an idiot on a motor bike, who has been travelling between the lanes at about the speed of light, happens upon the scene. Of course he is suitably pissed of that a car driver has the audacity to actually change lanes, which makes him stop, so he protests. Now unfortunately lacking a hooter, and probably also opposable thumbs, he voices his protest the only way he can: be revving his engine to about a zillion rpm resulting in a noise of about a bijillion db. Schpat, totally not expecting this "reasonable" reaction promptly shits himself and moves, very quickly, back over into his lane. Motorcycle-riding dick-head promptly drops clutch, spins wheel, burns rubber and moves 20m to where the next car is changing lanes, stopping right in front of Schpat and leaving a 20m run-up. Schpat thinks: "ramming speed mr sulu!", but manages to restrain self.

Jesus Christ! There are better ways to get yourself killed than relying on me to drive over you!

In the news:

Men really are more intellegent than women.

There are plans to make Cape Town "Go all night" (snigger)

I suppose this isn't that funny if you're one of those people who get hung up on "discrimination" but the rest of you, and even them too if they lighten the fuck up, should be amused by this. Some dude was sent a pre-approved credit card in the name of "Palastinian Bomber". Now who wouldn't get a kick outa having that embossed on their plastic?

Here is another flash thingy, more challenging and addictive.

The SchpatDope for tomorrow is shaping up nicely. It's the most difficult question yet.


PS: Oh yea, that dog that zenstar posted about yesterday was on the late night e-tv news. Man it almost made me want to puke!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Reader Claims 1000th Prize

Last night’s game session turned into Jenga madness, zenstar has already mentioned that we played so well that we actually ended up with one game with no more possible moves. What ol' zen forgot to mention was that I pulled hero-move-of-the-game. Right near the bottom of the stack was one block that was so firmly wedged in there that people had been trying to move it since about halfway through and given-up due to it's difficulty. Well at one stage it was my turn and the only possible (but not bloody likely) move was the bottom-block-o-doom. Deftly I single-handedly (those are the rules, only one hand) shifted the weight of the entire stack in order to remove it, everybody was suitably amazed. Unfortunately this move made another layer available for play and Jason took the wimp move and left Alex with no possible moves. Tense moments! Jenga is teh r0><><0r!

Google has launched a new im app. go here to download it. It apparently lets users chat across all chat network standards. When I originally spotted this story this morning it was "leak tell how google may be launching IM offering", but by this afternoon it was out. I wonder if Google was just trying to plug the leak?

All those Cosatu members out there who read my blog, thanks for talking my concerns to your leadership, but please tell them they are still idiots for pursuing the dropping of corruption charges against Zuma by the executive even after admittingthey were wrong. Tell them I don’t care about their "emotional rock" and "political hard place". Let the justice system do its job! That's what it's there for, that's what our constitution is there for. Shut the fuck up and sit down.

In a proactive move John Howard, Australian PM, has announced plans to infiltrate Mosques and Muslim schools in order to ascertain whether ort not terrorist propaganda is being propagated. Interesting huh?

Anyway, that's about it, oh yes Zenstar claims to have won the prize, here's his proof:

Like I said, cheating will be frowned upon >:-(
Mitsy is none too happy either!

Oh and by the way, Welcome Ork Khrist! Check out his blog, and spiffy pic, it's linked on _my_ right.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

1000th visitor wins prize!

Moonflake has inspired me. She has taken a screenshot of her blog counter when it reached a certain impressive milestone and I'd like to do the same. The only difference is that I'd like to make it an interactive thing for my readers. So here it is: If you are the lucky reader to capture the magic number ("1000") you will receive exactly one half of my blog earnings up until that time. That's earnings generated by clicks on ads in both this blog and the SchpatDope. Currently this number is at $11 so half is $5.50! Remember that if you actually support our sponsors while visiting to see if you are the 1000th visitor you will be increasing the prize fund!

If you don't know how to take a screen shot here are brief instructions:

1. make sure desired window is active
2. press Alt+PrnScr to copy to clipboard
3. open MS Paint
4. press Ctrl+V to paste from clipboard
5. save file.

If you have the picture mail it to me and wait for your reward.

Anyway so that's an interesting little thing for you to do.

Tonight is RPG and I really can't wait.

In an interesting development a study has apparently shown that violent video games causes violence in children. Now results of the study aside (I bought a book at the book sale entitled "how to lie with statistics") the sheer media sensationalism on this piece is amazing. They've even misrepresented the "Hot Coffee" patch saying that it enables content not only of a sexual nature but also explicit scenes of violence and drug use, isn't that just the normal game? Oh they also allude to the Columbine shootings being because of violent video games, missing the entire point about the poor dudes being bullied and generally mistreated finally sending them over the edge. Next thing they'll claim is that Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh are satanic.

In other funny, this whole village in china has changed their name. The ancestral name of the village was changed to "Gou" by some emperor after he suffered some slight, the name means "humble" but is pronounced "dog", a huge insult in china. I guess it's the same as being called something like Patrick Shizenkopf. The men apparently have a huge problem finding brides as no respectable women wants to be a shit head!

In not so funny here is proof that global warming exists, it's rather alarming really.

Anyway, that's about it for today. Remer to get that screen capture to prove you're my 1000th visitor so that you can win your prize! Cheating will be frowned upon.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Amusing SWF inside!

Wow, I didn't realise how much I'd had to drink on friday until I read my blog post this morning, needless to say it made perfect sense at the time. I spent the weekend replacing all the stuff that we lost when they stole Elisabeth's bag, the insurance finally paid out. It was a weekend of great spending, we bought Elisabeth a front-loading mp3 player for her car, the faceplate of her radio was stolen, and it is very nice. As a result I spent the rest of the weekend being driven around in Elisabeth's car so we could listen to it. I went to the folks place for dinner on Saturday and had two roasts and about 6 different kinds of veg, I think my mother was trying to out-do me, she is quite competitive. Much fun was had by all. Also I bought Jenga! Woot!

Here is that special something I promised for Moonflake. It's from, it's linked on the left, go check it out.

Welcome onboard to ArchAngel, go on, check out her blog!

Ok I promised a piece about Zuma, the long and short of it is this: This guy is about as crooked as a drunk walking the white line. He has been caught in dodgy dealings and was offered the opportunity to step-down gracefully, but decline to. Our esteemed prez promptly called his bluff and fired him, he was also charged with corruption. Ever since he has been using his "support base" to place pressure on the govt to drop those charges and re-instate him. His support base includes cosatu, sasco, anc yl and apparently the SAP VIP protection Unit (one of whom seems to live in my block judging by the car parked outside). Cosatu, Sasco and the ANC YL have been calling for his re-instatement and the dropping of charges, even thought by their own admission they know that these demands are not legal or constitutional, but they'd like ol' Thabo to make an exception, just this once I'm sure. The VIP protection unit of the SAPS actually interfered with the investigation into his crimes by preventing a court order, a search warrant, from being executed for a few hours. Here is my view, and if any of you want to forward to Jacob please feel free: Dude, get over it. Take your millions and retire, oh and advise your fellow politicians not to get caught. I don't really care one way or another if you're innocent or not, but a man as desperate to hold onto power as you are can only be bad news. Next you'll be burning the Reichstad!

I've got nothing brilliantly funny to tell you today, but check out this flash game. It's quite amusing. Ogle, but don't get caught!

Anyway, cheers until later.

PS: I've altered the settings so that only registered users are able to post comments. There was just too much blog spam! So sorry to those folks that don't have blogger id's. you should sign up, you don't have to keep a blog or anything, but you will be able to post comments.

Friday, August 19, 2005

warm and fuzxzy

wine tasting pannel good, sorry for no blog post today but too much work and then too muxh wine. lots of fun thoiugh. yesterday I was feelingf good, today im feelign really food. Still going to drive ho,e though and then take elisabeth to canal walk for shopping and supper, mmm super.

wish me luck.

and if i am really a glanse then whwere is the smegma?>???

ok bhye bye. mitsy syas hi!


Thursday, August 18, 2005

Love is all around me

It's been a rather stressful day here due to some restructuring announcements, they've been a long time coming, but the planners here finally found out what their new assignments are. It means the end of a lot of stress for them and, by way of repercussion, me. But that's all over now.

I had a dream night before last and it's taken me a while to process it. Now I don't believe in dreams being portents of the future or anything, in fact I'm sure most dreams are nothing more than the rehashing of current events, then again some dreams are pure wish fulfilment. The dream in question was a combination of the last two categories. I won't go into too much detail other than to say that a few issues I have have been sorted out recently and that probably spurred this dream where all the important issues in my life were resolved. One of the amusing things that happened was that I was given a box of Montecristo No. 2's by an unspecified source, I think the idea was that it was from everybody in my life, this probably means that I think people generally like me or something, or, because cigars are phallic objects that everyone thinks I'm a dick! But I like cigars so it probably means they like me, but what does my love of cigars say about me?

That's why we shouldn't read too much into our dreams!

Like I said it's taken me two days to fully process this dream, I've been remembering different bits and pieces randomly, and now that I've kinda worked it out I'm amazed at how good I feel about my life at the moment, and also how much stress I'm actually under and how good it would feel to get rid of it. Bearing that in mind, and being a proponent of the proactive approach, I took a walk over to my favourite tobacconist and bought a few stogies.

Here's my daily comment on stuff:

No matter what you were told, or mailed pictures about, it did not snow on table mountain yesterday. Those pics are old!

Power Ranger accused of murder. Skylar Deleon has been charged with killing a Californian couple in order to steal their yacht. I'm not sure what colour ranger he was but probably the evil black one, why do newspapers never report the important facts.

In more important news MicroSoft has announced the release date, features and pricing their new Xbox 360. It's gonna come with a pretty hefty price tag, $399, which will mean retail here in SA at about R4000 or so. The big thing is that it's going to be out before Xmas and beat both the new Sony and Nintendo boxes. An early release is why the PS2 has been so successful, the question is: "are ordinary gamers going to wait for a superior Sony box based on the performance of the PS2, or will they cave and buy an Xbox thus ushering in a whole new era in console games?". It's a pretty interesting article, go give it a read.

I see Zuma's been in the news again, maybe I'll comment on that tomorrow or something.

I did manage to set up a SchpatDope mailing list, so sign up now and never miss an issue!

Anyway back to that dream, a big thank you to all the people who know me, you enrich my life and make me happy. I'm really glad to have you around, unless you all think I'm a dick... then you can all just piss-off!


So what's up today?

Not much really, office politics is screwing up one of my brilliant ideas. I'm not going to go too far into it, but here's the skinny in abstract terms: A problem arose, a meeting was called, many lame ideas were bandied about and shot down by nay-sayers, schpat has brilliant idea that solves all problems, idea requires flexibility to the standard run-of-the-mill procedure, stake-holder agree that flexible approach is best and will yield desired result with least effort, schpat is praised, people who are required to be flexible dig in heels, flexible approach is stalled, schpat soothes feelings of people expected to take up others slack, flexible approach is dead in the water, schpat has brilliant idea to save flexible approach but idea requires more flexibility than last just in different areas, schpat realises there will be more resistance and approach will not be ready in time, schpat rants on his blog.

actually I exaggerate, that bit about schpat being praised isn't true.

This is funny:

US shoppers stampede for used laptops

Thousands of shoppers are reported to have stampeded to get their hands on cheap second-hand Apple iBooks at a sale in Richmond, Virginia, yesterday.

Various US media reports said the sale featured four-year-old iBooks priced at $50, instead of the usual $999 to $1 299.

Customers were so desperate to get their hands on the 1 000 laptops on sale that people were thrown to the pavement, one was beaten with a folding chair and one woman wet herself rather than lose her place in the line.

All this for apples?

I've been working on the SchpatDope for friday, it should be out early during the day. Also I'm trying to set up a SchpatDope Mailing List to inform people when a new one is posted. If that isn't successful I'll just continue posting updates on Cthfucia, Nay-sayers be damned.

I'm really looking forward to my tuesday night game starting up again, I've really missed it and I think that Vitoro Castalani is feeling a bit upset about being neglected.

This just in:

An underwear thief in the UK has been banned from an island for seven years. The funny part is how they found out about him. Sex Toys, lol.

This New Zealand woman phoned the emergency ‘111’ service because she spilt oil on her wedding dress just before the wedding was supposed to start.

An Isreali Woman has set herself alight, ala budist monk style, to protest the gaza pull out. I’m also against pulling out, onanism is just plain wrong, the bible says so!

anyway cheers

Damn it all, blogspot is misbehaving so I’ll only post this tomorrow!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Long day

Well it's been a busy day so unfortunately there won't be a long blog post, this makes some of you happy, some of you sad and most of you go meh.

Do you remember Thobeka Mtoto? Well she was sentenced to five years for what she did. WTF?? What's worse is that the Judge, apparently another complete lack-wit 'hopes' that Mtoto will get some 'psychiatric care' while in jail. Huh?? You mean it's not mandatory??

Anyway, moonflake made some interesting points about conception licences, go check it out.

Some interesting stuff from the news:

Forget skin grafts, this stuff sounds much cooler. I'd almost want to loose some flesh so that I could get it. Imagine the stuff blended with kevlar! I wonder how much essence that would cost?

To totally gross you out, Rebbecca Ackerman's nose used to run for a few hours, until they discovered that it wasn't snot dripping out of her schnoz, but spinal fluid!

Some dude in the UK has taken to wearing nothing but a nappy late at night and then asking women if they know where the nearest changing facilities are.

Ever thought of sailing across the Atlantic in a ship made of ice-cream sticks? well this guy has. It's a replica of a Viking longboat no less!

That's it for today. Oh, I almost forgot: Mitsy has asked me for a loan so that she can buy a leather miniskirt and fishnet stockings. She's very disappointed about how many people have been clicking on our sponsor's links, prostitution seems to be becoming her only option. I told her to hold off for a couple of days, and see if you would come through for her. Folks, please, I beg you: click on our sponsors ads, only you can stop this travesty!


Monday, August 15, 2005

Arrgh, Stupid Fuckkers

In the immortal words of Audrey II: "some people deserve to die". Audrey II is the flesh eating plant in "Little Shop of Horrors" and at the time was trying to convince Seymour Krelborn to murder the dentist. Well it's not funny this time, that's the way I feel about the following person.

Thobeka Mtoto. Die you fucking bitch die!!

Who is Thobeka Mtoto? The 22 year old cunt who drowned her 9 month old baby in her school toilet! This total waste of oxygen found out she was HIV positive after having her baby in june last year, was depressed and had had a fight with her sister. She felt so angry that she just wanted to kill someone, and she did! "So what" you ask, I'm sure this stuff happens every day? Well, does it surprise you to know that this shit-brain is now pregnant again, she conceived shortly before this incident? No? I didn't think it would! I say forced sterilisation for everybody! Then get a licence before you are allowed to have children!

Man I shouldn't post when I'm angry! but it is therapeutic.

Wow I've had two questions for SchpatDope, I'm going to answer one a week, just so I can build up a stock of questions for the dry times. In the mean time keep sending in your questions and clicking on our sponsors links.

Speaking of sponsors. I've decided to drop Google Ads, despite the $2.98 I've collected there. It's taken over 50 clicks to make that much with google only about 11 clicks with crisp ads. The thing that really got to me about google is that as soon as I put the Crisp Ads on the page, they started screwing with their ads by putting fewer ads on and by replacing the ads with public service announcements. Anyway you'll notice the big white ads at the top and side of the page, click them!

This weekend I watched "Ocean's 12" and "The Life Aquatic". "Ocean's 12" was ok, I feel ripped off that I rented it for full price as oppose to waiting until it was no longer a new release. Then there was "The Life Aquatic", I really don't understand what everybody saw in this movie. It was slow, disjointed, and had totally unbelievable characters. There were a couple of funny moments, but I felt I had to slog through the rest of the crap until they arrived, and then I was so happy to see them that I convinced myself that they were more funny than they actually were. Don't get me wrong, the movie was well thought out, well filmed, well acted, but not at all entertaining. But I thought exactly the same thing about "Lost in Translation". To put you in the picture the second best thing about the movie was some dude singing a bunch of Bowie songs in french, the best thing was that if you paused the DVD and zoomed in there was a pretty nice pair of breasts to look at!

LateNite on friday I happened to have the TV and saw "the making of 'Straight outta Benoni'". SOB is a 'Crazy Monkey' movie! If you don't know who Crazy Monkey are, they do the JackAss rip-offs "this is drinking orange juice straight after brushing my teeth". These guys are funny, I'm really looking forward to a South African movie, for like the first time since I was twelve. You can also catch one of the main Crazy Monkeys doing educational tv spoof adverts for the SABC. "It's a rollercoster, a bit like maths really!".

So you came here for teh phunny and all you're getting is this boring crap? Ok here you go:

A couple was electrocuted while having sex in an electricity substation in Zimbabwe! It's the second time it's happened in a year.

And Posh Spice, Victoria Beckam, has never read a book in her life. She does flip through fashion magazines though!

Anyway that's it for today. Mitsy says she like Becks, he's so dreamy!

Friday, August 12, 2005


Wow, it looks like I've generated enough interest in my blog to have been targeted by "blog-spam". Cool! You know you've arrived when...

I checked out the sites and they seem to be pretty simple google-ad click generation pages. It's a cleaver idea, say that you've got all the answers to a certain question, and then provide "links" to these answers. In fact the links are nothing but disguised ads. Pretty cleaver huh? I wonder is Anonymous is a real person or just a bot. Any input?

Well that being said, there is a new SchpatDope out. Moonflake asks some tough questions!

The trouble with tribles

I was really shocked by this headline: "Triple bypass leads to trible trouble". Those damn cute little critters can really be a pain in the arse! Imagine my disappointment when upon reading the article I realised that it was just a typo, the 'b' was supposed to be a 'p'. It reminded my about the bad spelling error in a headline last Friday they had "Enoga Gay" instead of "Enola Gay". What gives, don't the folks at iol have proofreaders? Also it's pretty special (as in special-ed) to type a 'b' instead of a 'p', they are nowhere near each other, and neither are the 'g' or the 'l'!

This is an amusing little story about how two fugitives from justice were turned in by their cab driver. How did he know something was up? Well they claimed to be Amway representatives going to a conference, but the cabbie saw right through them when they didn't try hard enough to sell him stuff! LOL!!

In local politics Ngoro did it again. For those of you not following the story Roderick Blackman Ngoro was the Cape Town mayoral media advisor until he got fired for making some really stupid remarks about all coloureds being drunks and saying that africans have a superior culture. If you thought that was bad wait until you hear what he's done now.

On his website, where you can leave comments, he has stated that no one may use the word "coloured" instead they must refer to this racial group as "Khoisan". I mean, what a fucking idiot! First of all, Khoisan is an artificial grouping of two distinctly different groups, the San and the Khoi-Khoi (strandloopers and bushmen for you old apartheid educated folks). While they are the same race they considered themselves very different people because of their way of life, much as the Zulu and the Xhosa do today. Secondly the Khoisan were virtually wiped out by both the European settlers (mostly through disease) and the Xhosa (who were running from the Zulu and required land). Those that were left eventually ended up being renamed Griquas and relocated to the Karoo and what is now called the northern cape. Thirdly, while the Coloured culture has been influenced by the Khoisan (so has the Bantu by the way) if the Couloureds were really Khoisan wouldn't they speak the language, and if they spoke the language wouldn't somebody have realised a little sooner that the motto on our coat of arms means "going to take a leak" in Khoisan? As it is there are only like five people in the country that actually speak the language fluently.

This whole thing started when people began voicing descent over the ANC marginalising the Coloured community. What was their response? Tell them that it's their own fault for being hopelessly drunk the whole time and then just pretend that the group doesn't even exist. Basically throw up a smoke screen that will confuse the issue and allow the current situation to go on unchanged.

All I can say is: Hah! Kenya we got you beat. This month's moron of the month is here in South Africa. Click here if you want to read more.

Man there's so much I want to rant about, but I need to keep it under control. Instead I'll just ask a few questions.

Do you think that next time a bunch of idiots decide to strike for higher wages they'll realise that they have to work for two years just for the increase to pay for the money they lost while on strike?

Why do you think a country where the majority of the population had to fight in a bitter struggle to achieve the right of self-determination is there such apathy amongst the youth of the majority that funky TV adverts have to be created in order to entice them to vote?

Why do good shows get cancelled?

Why does all research lead to Star Trek? Seriously they do!

Why will no one click my ads?

Anyway that's it for this week. Look out for a new SchpatDope hopefully by the end of the day, Moonflake has asked a doosie!

oh yes, the Simpson’s is back on, yay!


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Mitsy is starving because of you!

Well, I'm not going to a complete Dragonfire review, I think that's already been well taken care of by others. Instead I'm just going to say that is was really enjoyable and vee dot good to see Shelagh again. It was really cool to see the level of participation and quality of role-playing. Of course I'm really bummed that we didn't win anything, who wouldn't be, but I'm also really happy for the teams that did. It's really nice to see some other teams breaking Thurteem's dominance and creating some really close finishes. I think it's good that Thurteem has spurred this kind of involvement, a few years ago the team spirit and rivalry of Dragonfire was all but gone, we were the only team registered. Years ago the Frisky Limpets were the leaders of untold numbers of teams (ok it was about 7), this year there were four. Dragonfire is going well, and I sincerely congratulate the organisers for a job well done, next year let's see more people organising themselves into teams, it really does add to the role-playing and the general atmosphere.

Here are some interesting links for you

Crazy Korean dies after gaming binge
Neglected Doggy seeks attention
Testicles kept under lock and key

Yes people can be dumb!

Also, talking about dumb, I did a rant a while ago about a dumb Kenyan politician. As you may or may not remember msanii voiced his concerns about the post. Well I'm pleased to announce that msanii was back over the weekend. Good on ya msanii, I hope to hear your comments in future.

I've discovered a new type of ad for the blog, unfortunately it looks kinda crap and doesn't really focus that much on the content of the blog, but it pays more that five times as much as google and I can receive money into a paypal account. I'm in two minds about ditching the present google ads and going exclusively with the crisp ads, but what is going to happen to the $1,76 I've accumulated with google? If you'd like to check out what the new adds look like I've got them running on SchpatDope. It's also starting to bug me that the first google add is always: "Nobody reading your Blog?". Arrgh, the taunting may become too much!

On that note the SchpatDope seems to be a success! Since friday night the page generated 400 odd hits! Wow! Now while I'm very pleased with this I'm displeased with the number of you who actually clicked on the ads, only two ads were clicked on! Mitsy is even more disappointed than me. Imagine it, currently she is sitting on the streets of cyberspace crying her virtual little heart out because she has nothing to eat and no place to sleep. Pretty soon she'll realise that the only way to support herself is by going back into those self-same bulletin boards where she was doing research and SELL HER BODY for ad-clicks! Only you can save Mitsy from prostitution! Click on the white ads that appear on the SchpatDope page and end this unnecessary sadness. If every SchpatDope visitor just clicked on two ads whenever they visited the site it would make the world of difference to this poor defenceless internet alter-ego! Oh btw: she also takes strength from questions, so either leave a question for her or click some ads, your choice.

That's it for today folks.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

One more sleep till DragonFire

Hey folks,

Not much to report on here today.

The SchpatDope has a whole dedicated blog now, be sure to check it out! I've done a new one!

Tomorrow is DragonFire, I'm really looking forward to it having missed Icon. I'm going to be getting there at about 9:00am to sort out all the team registartion nonsense that always comes along with a con. Hopefully there'll be none of that changing the price at the last moment crap! I've convinced some old friends to come and join in the fun, it should be really great.

I'll give a full reportback.

That's it for today, check out The SchpatDope.

Friday, August 05, 2005

My eyes are scratchy!

Well Elisabeth's flat has finally be rented out, after like four months, so I should be getting in some additional revenue soon. This is good news, I've been paying two bonds every month and it's starting to kill me.

I've had some disturbing news about a friend of mine and the way that he is reacting to people I know. The whole situation with this guy kinda sucks, he was one of our best friends and now he's just totally withdrawn form us. We have no clue why and it's really confusing to us. We are gonna have to do something to gain some clarity and perhaps achieve closure on this issue. Currently I'm blaming a Cheese-grater & Mesa conspiracy! Those dark powers that secretly control long-distance driving in South Africa have finally realised that he knew too much and replaced him with an evil robot twin. Hey, at least it's a story I can understand.

DragonFire, the oldest and second coolest role-playing convention is South Africa is happening this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.

This morning I just happened to have an opportunity for a ten minute read and I picked up an old Mad magazine. About a minute into my "read" I realised that although it had been sitting there for years I'd never actually read it, Score! It's like finding money in your wallet that you had forgotten about.

No interesting links today. what?!? I've been busy!

Ok I lied, here's one about fulfilling your fantasies and another about becoming a male stripper in Sweden.

By the way as of now I've earned $0.91 from my google ads! And the title of the entry has nothing to do with the contense, it's just da trewph.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

SchpatDope Returns

Moonflake Asks:

In America, the average age of consent across all 50 states is 16 and in Hawaii it's 14, but the game is being upped to 18+??? So in the majority of US states, you can, in fact, have sex on your console, just not on your console. Of course, you also have to be 18 to enter most porn sites in the states... so you can record yourself having sex, you just can't watch it. Brilliant. What gives? Help us Obi-Schpat, you're our only hope!

Ok, I added the last bit, but I said if you folks didn't ask questions I'd have to pretend that you did!

Schpat Answers:

That's an interesting question Moonflake, I'm glad I asked it for you. The confusion here is probably because of subtle inaccuracies in your wording. You might think I'm being a nit-picker for bringing up wording subtleties, but this is a question on law, and law is all in the wording!

First a little background info and interesting facts:

The minimum age for sexual consent varies around the world. It is often dictated by the specific societal values and beliefs. In some Muslim countries there is no minimum age for sexual consent but no sex is legal outside of marriage. Other laws ban certain types of sex on religious grounds egg: sodomy is illegal in many african countries, and Kansas.

In my research I found that it is possible to categorise societal influence, and therefore sexual consent laws, into 4 major groupings: average, conservative, antiquated, and enlightened.

Average: These are your normal run of the mill countries like The States and our very own South Africa. The minimum age for sexual consent is normally set somewhere between 16 and 18. Sometimes homosexual consent can only be given at older ages. There are also communally "Romeo and Juliet" laws which allow for teen sex with the provision that both partners meet certain age criteria, most communally that they are both under 18 and with in four years of age. This means that 14 year olds could legally have sex with 17 year olds. These laws normally also provide that the older partner must in no way have coerced the younger (egg: with food or money) or be in a position of authority over the younger (egg: a teacher or priest).

Conservative: These occur mostly in religious states, like the Muslim examples above. Most conservative states are not quite as fanatical about the whole thing and only have very high minimum ages for sexual consent, typically 21.

Antiquated: These are those back-woods states that don't really have any laws that govern this sort of thing. States like Pakistan, Oman, Chile, Paraguay, and Mexico. These states common law differs vastly on the subject but as an example in Mexico the common law states that it is a crime to deflower an honest woman under the age of 12. That means that if she is already not a virgin, or a real big tease it's alright! This is also the country where rape charges can be dropped if the perp agrees to marry the victim! Oh and you may be asking yourself why so many South American Countries are listed, that's because their common law is inherited from Spain, which still has the same laws.

Enlightened: for the weirdest stuff you have to visit our European friends like Sweden, France and Germany. In Sweden and France the legal age of consent is 15, but then it's also legal to have sex with animals in Sweden as long as you cause them no distress or discomfort. In Germany the legal age of consent is 14 as long as the partner is no older than 21 and the minor is not enticed by gifts or money, unless of course the minor is a prostitute then it's ok if she's over 12! Oh Yes, prostitution is legal in Germany.

Anyway, back to your question (snigger): Why is a 16 year old permitted to record themselves having sex but not permitted to watch it? Like I said it's in the wording. A sixteen year old may record themselves having sex, but to be clear no one else is allowed to unless the teen's parents consent, due to the fact that they have not yet reached the age of majority. Then comes the watching of the porn. It's not illegal for a 16 year old to see porn, but it is illegal to show them porn, this is normally a crime under corrupting a minor or under child abuse laws. Seeing as how you can't corrupt yourself that paradox is cleared up. The hypothetical minor would not however be able to tape themselves having sex and then distribute it to other under 18s.

Send in your own Schpat Dope questions or schpat might just twist your words too!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Emergency Notification

White Zombie is showing on Etv tonight at about 2:20 am

White Zombie is probably the first zombie movie ever made, it's more than 70 years old. So all you zombie fans out there, set your VCRs.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Thurteem shirts available today

Woohooo, yes that's right folks, Thurteem t-shirts are being printed as I type this, I'm picking them up at 16:00 and will be bringing them with me to the game tonight! The subject matter of this years shirt is an ongoing event that has saddened the members of Thurteem, we're speaking out hoping to get our message accross to the people with the power to do something about the situation. By the way, George W Bush does not feature.

Yesterday one of the guys who works with me handed in his resignation and was escorted out of the building. He's going to work for the competition. There was no email note to say he'd resigned, no "goodbye folks, nice working with you", nothing. It was like before lunch he was here and after lunch he had never existed. It kinda reminds me of the show "Nowhere Man", that show rocked, I wish I had seen more of it and that they had explained what was happening.

Here is a story about the high prices paid for movie memorabilia, and here is a story about a crazy Korean rock band. Crazy Koreans, toc toc toc.

Yum, lamb chops with mash and gravy for supper.

Where are those SchpatDope questions??

Monday, August 01, 2005

I'll be rich soon.

Well, that was one of the nicest, fullest, most satisfying weekends I can remember. It's probably because I had taken the thursday off and so it felt longer.

On Saturday I spend the day cooking for my folks. It was the first time I'd ever invited them for supper, living in a 36sqmr box was not conducive to pleasant dinning for four people. The early afternoon was spent helping Elisabeth with pudding: white chocolate mousse with orange chocolate garnish. We also made some truffles with mixed success, they did however taste absolutely yummy. I started the main course at about four: Roast Sirloin with a mustard and garlic rub. That was yummy, but I'll put on more mustard next time. I served carrots, Broccoli & Cauliflower with cheese sauce, roast potatoes, and yorkshire pudding with gravy and side dishes. A lot of work, but well worth it. Everybody was suitably impressed, especially with the pudding, my dad managed to force down the "spare-incase-of-emergency" mousse.

Sunday was also good. We went back to the book sale and spent another bunch of cash and got another bunch of books. We also met my mother, brother and his girlfriend totally by chance and ended up having breakfast at the wimpy with them. When we got home we checked over our purchases and realised that we had bought another 49 books, bringing the total to 100 exactly, weird huh? I'm so glad I save up for this sale, it's really worth it.

I also watched a bunch of TV including the end of season 1 of 24. Good ending! The South African "Apprentice" is really disappointing. The people taking part are dumb, the tasks are stupid and Tokyo Sexwale is completely incoherent and self-absorbed. It's like a train wreck and I can't stop watching.

Here's a story to really put your faith in South Africa. Apparently Moloko Temo, a woman living in the Limpopo province, is 131. The story is a heart-warming jaunt through the incoherent ramblings of the senile old duck and the illogical assumptions of the South African Department of Home Affairs (DoHA). If Mrs Temo is indeed 131 years old she would be the oldest living human by 16 years. DoHA determined her age in 1988 by working off of things she said were happening while she was young. Seeing as how she was supposed to have been born in 1874 she would already have been 114 at the time! Her youngest Daughter is 79 years old meaning that Mrs Temo was 55 when she gave birth! These stupid assumptions are not even the worst part. The really scary bit is that while she is in all probability not 131 years old she definitely is completely senile and incapable of looking after herself, they still allowed her to vote in the general elections! Read the article if you want all the details. I really can't believe there is absolute no requirement of cogency and understanding for the right to vote!

Anyway, enough of stupid government policies, back to why I'll be rich soon. You observant lot out there may or may not have noticed the google ads at the top of the page but someone did. My ads have generated one click since I installed them and have earned me $0.03! That's like 0.1968ZAR! Now I'm contractually bound not to encourage you lot from clicking on the ads, but, when I get to $50.00 they send me a cheque and I'll use it to throw a party for my friends. It's only another 1667 clicks away!