Thursday, December 22, 2005

Less Stress

The days are significantly more relaxed now that there is very little that can be done before Christmas. People are calmer and the roads are quieter, but thank god I'm not in the shops. I may be speaking too soon though, I've still got to pick up Elisabeth's main gift. I'm getting her a mini Hi-Fi that plays MP3 from CD and also memory cards and flash drives, from Hi-Fi Corp. While the products offered by Hi-Fi Corp are decent the quality control of their manufacturers is rather suspect and with their seven day return policy there was no way I was picking the unit up with out leaving plenty of time for a return. So yesterday I took a little trip out to the Rondebosch branch and guess what, out of stock! They have no stock of the unit anywhere in the western cape. They took my number and promised to call me back if stock came in, but they couldn't promise it would be before Christmas. So a bit of a pickle.

Elisabeth and I have been eating a lot of wraps and salad because they are quick to make and require almost no clean up. Last night I was bored of eating the same "easy" suppers over and over, so I decided to be a little creative. I've got a bunch of salmon in my freezer and I decided to do a stir fry. I picked up a Woolies ready cut stir fry pack and I was ready to go. I fried the salmon first adding a generous measure of teriyaki for flavour. Then did the stir fry in two batches because my pan is small, I really need a wok. The ginger in the veg mix really brought out the flavour of the fish and teriyaki, it was da bazomb!

After supper we watched a little TV and then I headed downstairs to clean up the kitchen and play a little Texas Hold 'em. I played two 18 p NLHE $1.50 + $0.25 Sit and Go tournaments and finished 1st and 2nd respectively. The first tournament was all about playing aggressively and winning big hands, it was what worked. It was a whole bunch of fun twice during that game I went from big stack to incredibly small stack (at one point $800 with $600 blinds) as other players got luckier than I was. Careful playing and some amazing semi bluffs saw me steeling a few pots and building my stack up again. I also had my share of luck drawing three straights on the river, all with 9. This included my last hand where I won with a straight to K against two pair KQ. Man winning was great, the $10.80 wasn't bad either.

The second game was much more reserved, it was all about winning the small pots and outlasting the other players. Early on in the game, like third hand, I raise to 500 (with a stack on 1480 on AA one other player called, that's cool it increased the pot. We were both sitting with our entire stack already in play so the hand played out: 6d Td Ac, I'd hit my flop and went all in with the rest of my stack, the other player called and because all our money was already in the pot his cards were revealed, 9Th. I still can't quite believe he went all in on a pair of T. The turn came 8s and the river Ah, Four Aces, Ka Ching! That hand set me up as chip leader for most of the tournament and let me dominate a lot of hands. But by the time it came down to the last hand I was short stacked $6k to $21k and the blinds were $2k. I was dealt Qd 6s in the hole and as BB I checked. The flop Came 3d Ac Ad and my opponent checked, that meant he didn't have an A and was probably betting on a Pair no bigger than JJ, I went all in with a bluff trying to convince him I had an A. He called, damn. The turn came 2d giving me 9 outs for the flush, the river came 9d and I thought I had it. But the villain showed Kd 2c and stole the flush with the only card that could have beaten me. I can in second and won $8.10 bringing my winnings for the evening to $18.90, sweet!

I don't think I'm going to be playing tonight, I'm on a high from winning so much that I may get careless and lose, plus I need the rest. I just got a call from Hi-Fi Corp that the unit has been delivered so I'll probably go pick that up after lunch. The project team is going to Yum for lunch, it's a bit pricy, but the menu does look great, I'll let you know.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I'm sorry for the really long absence here, and for disappointing all the people who read my blog often. On the up side all the hard work seemed to have paid off because I got to see a whole bunch of people over the weekend that I haven’t seen since August and that I wouldn't have seen had it not been for SchpatCON.


All in all a resounding success. Many very late nights went into the con this year, but that's probably because I was so slack getting the whole affair off the ground. Friday night started with Munchkin, my brother cam through and managed to come second, Garrick won the event and prizes should be on the way. After Munchkin an impromptu game of Texas Hold 'Em sprang up. I managed to last almost the whole thing on my initial buy in, I didn't have a winning hand dealt to me the whole night, not one! Because of that the game was quite boring for me I didn't get to the showdown more than three times the entire evening. Dieter did the worst with three buy-ins and still not walking away with a cent and Roo did best winning a total of almost R100. A special mention has to go to Graham Polter (I hope that's right, it's been a bad weekend for names) who came to the table with "can you please remind me how this game works" and "I can't really shuffle, could someone do it for me" and then proceeded to sit on Big Stack for most of the night, he was the only other person to come away with anything.

Saturday morning saw me completing my module and picking up our fine sponsor Adeeb from Outer Limits. Alex was working so we had to run the Deadlands module first. It was a great running, with three tables participating. The first session ran horribly over time with one GM taking 2 hours longer than any of the others, but people were kept quiet by the readily available PS2 and the fact that they hadn't paid a cent.

The afternoon module was played by only two tables because of the late starting time, but was still enjoyed by all. Adam came round and we "jammed" a bit on our harmonicas, I'm gonna get myself a cool one sometime, mine sounds way too tinny. The game finished at about 8pm and I gave Adeeb a lift to town and then home before getting to the One Ring for the after party at about 10pm.

Because the Steve Jackson games prizes had not arrived yet the Outer Limits spon was all we had to dish out, thanks Adeeb and Grant. Best player prize went to Robyn Saul for an amazing Calamity Jane, one of the best performances I've ever seen. Mike Dewar and Brendan Quinlevin (his ears are not bleedink) came in very close joint second place, Brendan for Doc Holiday and Mike for a piratey type. The GM prize went to Garrick for his performance in "Pieces of Hate", a one point difference. He also scored best in "Hexes Wild", altogether a deserving winner.

The last R50 gift voucher was the prize for the Drunken Foosball Tournament. Now there'd been a lot of trash talking on my part but I wasn't all that confident, there were some pretty tough teams in contention. There was a round of Round Robin where Lucas and I were undefeated, at the end it was Jason & Sean vs Mike & BETH for third and fourth, and Dave & Virolin vs Lukas & me in the final. Both finals were to be monster 20 ball games, and both went into extra time. In the end I think Mike and BETH came third in a very close and exciting runners up match, and Lucas & I cleaned the board with Dave & Virolin in extra time. Go us. The tournament took about an hour to play and the guys that were at the table before us were rather gracious in letting us hog the table after I explained what it was for. They wanted to compete, but I explained that it was kinda a private thing and they totally understood. Sniggering they introduced themselves as "Japan" and "Taste" ("Taste of Japan", geddit?) they did challenge Lucas & I though, and cleaned the floor, walls and ceiling with us. I congratulated them and informed them that they had obviously had a misspent youth, I don't think they got it. Those jock types! I gave the prize to Lucas because I was just lucky, he was the real skill behind our team.

I like to take this opportunity to really thank everybody who came, and especially those who contributed. I just organise this thing for everybody to come along and have a great time, I just couldn’t have made it happen without you.


Wow that was long!


Last night I graduated myself from play money to real money. I deposited a few dollars and entered a No limit Hold 'em tournament for $1 + $0.20. That's a $1 stake and $0.20 fee to the house, then they give you $1500 in chips and you play till the last man standing, there are 45 players on 5 tables and the top seven places are paid out. I played in that for a while and eventually finished in 29th position. Then I played a 18 player 2 table $1.50 + $0.25 Turbo (15 seconds instead of 30 to make decisions) No limit Hold 'em, in that game I made it through to the final table and finished 7th. With 18 players only the top 4 are paid. I decided to go for one more game before going to bed, another 18p 2t %1.50 + $0.25 Turbo No limit Hold 'em game. I did much better this time, having sussed out a couple of the finer points of a game with severely increasing blinds. I made it through to the final table and I wasn't even the shortest stack when I got there. By the time it had gotten down to seven players I'd made a pretty severe mistake and only had about $500 in my stack (blinds were $300 at this point). Got dealt a decent pair (QQ) and played all in, people folded an I stole the blinds bringing me up to about $1.5k again. In the very next hand I was dealt AKs (the "s" means suited, "o" would be off-suit) and after the other three shortish stacks had gone all in I decided to follow, the two (substantially) larger stacks folded out. With all four players "all in" there is no more betting and no opportunity to fold, so everybody's hole cards are revealed. I was up against AQo, AJo, ATs and I had AKs . Then came the flop Q J 8, mortified I hopped for the K to come at either the Turn or the River, there was about a 12% chance of that happening, other wise was screwed. The Turn 3, shit! From all over the world (one guy in Essex, one Guy in Terahn, one guy in Erie and me in CT) we held our breath for the River: T! Everybody had hit their under-card except for me, but I still won with the straight to A. That is one hand I'm going to remember for a long time. Now I was in the top three, but I was short stack on about $6k with the other $21k split pretty evenly between the two big stacks. Blinds went to $600, then to $1.2k and soon I had been bled out of the game, but it was great. I won $5.40, yay me!


Well Moonie, I did that personality test you've been bugging me to do and, if the blog title didn't give it away, I'm Wesley Crusher. That's actually pretty cool, I've always liked Wesley. When I was watching the series I was only a few years younger than the character and I always identified with him, he might not have been the coolest character, but he was dependable and got to live on a starship! Kinda like me, except for the starship part. Plus Wil Weaton is a geek god!


I've still got some shopping to do, hopefully at lunch time. I'll try to post more regularly, thus ensuring shorter posts.

Until later


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

SchpatCON: Hex Update

I know, I’ve been very bad with getting the website up, but for some reason I seem to have decided that the busiest work week of the year should coincided with the busiest personal week of the year, that’s right the week before Christmas and the week before SchpatCON.

Everything is still going according to schedule, and speaking of schedules here it is.

15:00 : Munchkin, yes that wonderful card game we’ve all come to know and love.

10:00 : All Flesh Must Be Eaten. A Zombie module with Pirates, or a Pirate Module with Zombies? You be the judge! A module by Alex Millar in a genre that he has proven to have made his own.

14:00 : GURPS: Deadlands. Gunslingers and Hucksters, Missionaries and Indians, Abominations and Terrors, these are just a few for the things you can expect. A module by schpat

Later : Prize giving probably at the One Ring.

Even Later : Drunken Foosball Tournament (remember to register on Saturday for this one.

Ok the venue is the Kramer Law Building (the same place as DragonFire and the last 2 SchpatCONs. The good news is that shirts will be ready on time (hopefully) even if the modules aren’t. Did I mention that entrance was free?


Monday, December 12, 2005

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Moonflake, please pass this info on to Zenstar. I should have bet!

Bela Lugosia (International House) George Burns (Radioland Murders) Christopher Loyd (One flew over the cuckoo's Nest) Danny DeVito (LA Confidential) Kevin Spacy (Outbreak) Dustin Hoffman (Sleepers) Kevin Bacon

Probably could have done it quicker, but that's not important.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Well, it's been a while again...

In a nutshell here is my week: Frinight, phoned people about SchpatCon t-shirts and went out for sushi with Elisabeth. Saturday and Saturnight: attempted ObsFest, was way too busy, took Elisabeth out for supper. Sunday: House work in preperation for Elisabeth's family comming down. Monday: Hectic work, home for internet poker. Tuesday: Hectic Work, rejoice as JZ is charged with rape, Elisabeths family comes round for supper, we have home made pizza. Wednesday: Hectic work, meet Ardi for lunch, meet people to collect t-shirts, online poker from home. Thursday: Hectic Work, Elisabeth's family comes round for supper again, fetch shirts from Moonflake and Zenstar see Synk there too. Friday: Hectic work, drop shirts off at printer, going out for lunch.

That's the short version, notice that working on my schpatcon module was not mentioned, I have my weekend cut out for me. That;s if I can fit it in around moonie's birthday tonight and dinner guests on Saturnight. Sunday here I come!

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's finally over


This morning as I drove into work I noticed two pole adverts for the local 'english' language tabloid, "The Voice": "'Jesus Killer' strikes again" and “'Satan' killer on the loose". I mean what are they doing, covering all their bases? What religious icon will be vilified next? Mohamed? Buddha? Obviously the editors are trying to get people to buy the rag, but aside from the often uninteresting page 3 girl there really is no reason, unless of course you're trying to find out about the latest porn downloads for your phone. I suppose journalism and integrity doesn't pay anymore.


So I had to go back to city hall today. I arrive at 8:30 as instructed by the nice gentleman at enquiries and head on over to Court 2 to find the Clerk of the Court. On my way I see shield-mullet and wave with a huge grin, she scowls back at me, this one is in serious need of an attitude adjustment. I head past her and find Court 2, but there are a bunch of people milling around outside and none of them look like they are in charge. I ask one of the security guards where I could find the clerk and she tells me that I must go to enquiries. At enquiries I wait in a short queue only to be told that he's at the court. I get them to describe him to me and go looking for him. Eventually I find the guy, a thirty-something metro police officer who stanks of booze. He probably had a tough night so trying not to speak too loudly I explain what has happened on my last three visits. He walks into the court where a the prosecutor, a young lady, is reading something at her podium with her back towards us. Putting his arm around her shoulders and leaning in real close, this makes the attractive young prosecutor visibly uncomfortable, he whispers the story into her ear. She thanks him curtly and motions me over to her. At this point I'm worried that hung-over-letch-man has put her in a really bad mood before she hears my case.

The prosecutor then explains to me that she has the authority to drop the charges but only if sufficient evidence is provided. I "show her my evidence", she “reviews my case” and “the charges are dropped”. Well actually it happened just like that just without the quotation marks, but I was just trying to spice it up. Yay, no fine!

Final Score:
City Hall: 2
Schpat: 200

W00t!!11!!1 I win.


This “pastor” dude from Cape Town somewhere took his kids on a shooting spree on Halloween. He drove his kids around so that they could shoot at trick or treating teenagers with paintball guns in order to teach the teens that the occult is bad. I mean WTF?? That’s not the worst of it, his son shot a very young kid in the face at point blank range before he fled the scene at high speed. This is just the kind of pro-gun activist you don’t want in your lobby, he is known for his opposition to homosexuality, pornography, communism, militant Islam, and to what he says is "humanism" in state schools. He says he did it to fight satanism, maybe he should call the tabloids.


Today’s picture provided to me by Koos, and rather funny it is too. It’s entitled: “Cheated!”


Well it’s been a heluva week, and it’s over now. My plans for the weekend involve taking Elisabeth out tonight, a lot of housework (family from PE is coming to visit on Monday) and going to ObsFest on Saturday and Saturnight. I’ll be there snapping a few pics, hope to see some of you guys there.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Back to The Hall


So I walk on over to the city hall today to check what the outcome of my appeal on the first traffic fine is. Note this is not the speeding fine I got outside George, it's the one I got in Sea Point for not having a licence. Well I go to the office were I ended up last time, where I left the fine, and sat in the queue for about 20 minutes. I get to see the mullet headed traffic lady who I gave my fine to. It appears all she does is collect the appeals and hand them over to the prosecutor who hands them back to her several days later with his decision. Effectively she is a shield that keeps the wrath of the public as far away from the prosecutor as possible. Anyway shield-mullet goes through the extremely large pile of alphabetised replied-to appeals she has received from the prosecutor and can not find my case. She checks the register (in a book not on computer!) and sees that the case has been reviewed by the prosecutor and returned to her. After 5 minutes of searching she concludes that it must have been sent to enquiries by mistake, and send me there to check. A short walk to enquiries and a 10 minute queue fails to produce anything, so back to shield-mullet. At shield-mullet's office I thank the gods of Bureaucracy that there is only one person in front of me, but when that person is done shield-mullet is off on a coffee break. Eventually she arrives back, coffee in hand, and apologises to me because the file was in fact in a different pile on her desk, the pile just returned by the prosecutor. Shield-mullet tells me that the prosecutor has queried my appeal and that I have to provide a few more details including the case number for when I reported the theft of my drivers licence. Come back when you have those details.

I go back to the office where I have the insurance details for when Elisabeth's bag was stolen, find the case number write a short letter to the prosecutor and make a copy of the licence in my ID book as proof that I have one. When I get back to City Hall I notice Shield-Mullet chatting to someone in the corridor as I go in and smile at her as I walk past on the way to her office, she smiles back. After a ten minute wait she returns to her office and tells me that she's closed for the day and that I should go to enquiries. At enquiries I explain what shield-mullet has told me, the guy behind the counter gets very pissed off and seems to take pity on me. Stamps my letter (I don't know why) and tells me to go directly to the clerk of the court tomorrow before 9am, he should be able to arrange it that I can actually see the prosecutor himself, thus totally avoiding shield-mullet.

Oh yeah, did I mention the Astrix poster outside shield-mullet's office?

City Hall: 2
Schpat: 0


Yes it's still happening on the 16th and 17th. But the t-shirt design is finished, here it is. Obviously some lettering will be added. If you want to have a t-shirt of your very own you can contact me at You need to get a black shirt to me before they go to print next week friday, that is get the shirt to me by thursnight. (didn't see that one coming did ya?)The printing is only going to cost about R16 and remember that entry to all events is free.

Go on you know you want one.

The website with a full time table and event summary will by up soon, I'll keep you updated.


Tired of wearing those damn thongs that ride up your butt? Why don't you rather check out this little garment that has no back.


Well I've noticed that blogspot has had a problem with pictures, but I'm attempting to load one here for you.


Well that's me. I'll keep you updated on both the traffic court thing and SchpatCON, until then keep on keepin' on!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just a quick note

Work has been really busy but still I strive to bring you items of interest.

Plosiguant raises an interesting question about the safety of the penis flytrap. That is one twisted mind!

ICASA has announced that the SNO should be licenced by the end of the year. This is good news for consumers, Analysts predict that they will begin operating in March 2006.

If you want a laugh check out this site. It's all about real life US patents that are really dumb. This one in particular, learn to shake damn it!

The space key on by brand new keyboard has started to squeak! This is most irritating!

Monday, November 28, 2005

What a weekend


It all started on Frinight (see previous blogpost for details) when yet another power failure in the western cape urged me to make plans to braai with my folks. My mom had just gotten herself two new cats, a pair of two year old gingers (brother and sister). I grew up with cats and we've always had between one and three of them at any given time, but Over a period of eighteen months all of my moms cats died of old age and she's been with out kitty companionship for about six months now. She's actually been quite depressed. The new cats are very cool and affectionate, my mom is happy. So I played with them and took some pictures before an attempt was made to overfeed me on Rump steak and various salads, my parents went totally overboard for an impromptu braai. Elisabeth and I only got to bed at 1am, we finally left when my dad was falling asleep in the middle of conversations. This made me think how, just like my mom's cats, my parents are getting old.

On saturday I ran some errands for my dad and bought a new pool cue. The salesman told me some cockamamie story about resizing the tip with sand paper that basically wasted 45 minutes of moonflake, zenstar and my lives. Saturnight (are you paying attention here?) was Dystopia's birthday thingy. We had planned to go to the One Ring and play pool and muck about, but the place was closed until about 22:30 even though there were people inside, and the bouncer apparently was being a bit of a dick. Antonio really needs to sort that shit out man. We ended up at Stones (previously the much cooler Rolling Stones) where I sucked at pool but kicked ass at Foosball. Man Dystopia and I are so gonna win us the drunken foosball tournament at SchpatCON. Phillip's band was playing at Cool Runnings, but lacking the energy and the warmth we ended up not going. By the time we left it was way later than I thought it was, I joined moonie and zen for some coffee and e-tv porn before going home to sleep.

Sunday was uneventful, I took Elisabeth out for breakfast at the Blue Route and spoke with Nick about stuff. I was really nice to see him again and I gave him this blog address so that he could link to everyone else's. Hi Nick! Leave a comment.

Sunnight (you were expecting that weren't you?) I watched Tome Raider for the first time and it was so shockingly bad. The dialog and general concept was good, at was AJ's accent, but that's where it ended. Seriously so much more could have been done, I'm not going to get into it here except to say that I wasn't expecting much and I was very disappointed. Then I couldn't sleep for like many hours and suddenly woke up tired and late. But all things considered it was a great weekend.


That might be an overstatement, but it certainly cost me a metric fuckpile. In case you can't really make it out that's a picture of me driving Elisabeth's car through a speed trap near George at 100kph where the speed limit is 60kph. Total cost: R800. Ouch! Now I know that there are no discernable details of the driver or passenger so I could probably argue the case, but I know I was wrong here and so I'll probably just pay the fine. Still I 60kph on a stretch of then N2 is ludicrously slow, I believe that they reduced the speed limit there precisely to trap motorists and increase revenues.


The penis flytrap has apparently been launched in SA. This is a device that is shaped like a condom and inserted like a tampon and "bites" into any offending object subsequently inserted. What has our world come to? Still it should come with a warning sign.

That raises an interesting question. It is illegal to trap your property to avoid theft, even with a warning sign, I wonder how the courts would rule on this one. Two wrongs don't make a right you know.

A thief has stolen millions of rands worth of lego in the states after swapping barcodes with less expensive items. He used to steal the expensive lego sets and sell them online for a profit. When he was caught he had 66 Lego Millennium Falcon sets, I don't blame him, that lego star wars is teh bomb. They needed a truck to confiscate all the stolen lego from his home. Lego means "play well" in Danish.

Boart has public ally announced that he stands by the Kazakh government in their decision to sue Sacha Baron Cohen. Even though I don't love Da Ali G Show I have to admit that Cohen is a comedic genius.

Mo Shaik has told media on behalf of JZ that they expect a rape charge. This after the police handed over the docket to the National Prosecuting Authority urging them to charge him. Apparently the DNA evidence collected matched Zuma, and they have a Prima Face case. While the ANCYL has renewed their support for the former deputy president the SACP and COSATU have stated that they have never backed Zuma as their preferred succession candidate. It seems that the 'Zuma for President' t-shirts are evidence to the contrary. And just in case you didn't know, the cost of JZ's ongoing VIP protection is costing the tax payers R 102 633 per month.

On a lighter note we may be looking at another cold war as the Chinese are putting more people into space while the USA space program remains grounded. China also state that they want their own space station and could make lunar landings within the next ten to fifteen years. The states plans to resume lunar missions around 2016.


I was typing out a spec for internal development today and I got to the part of the template that dealt with scope. I decided to have a bit of a laugh and put the following in under the "OUT OF SCOPE" heading:

Nothing is out of scope, everything is in scope, including world peace!

That'll teach them for giving me control of the scope. Ha ha ha you fools!!



Ice Ice baby to go....

I've been listening to a bunch of what used to be regarded as "Heavy Metal" in the eighties. All I can say is that it's laughable what people get up in arms about, the lyrics of the average pop song these days are more inflammatory. My point here is relax people, these things are not as important as you think.

Well, it looks as if my home dentistry needs some attention so that's what I'm off to do now.

schpat out.

Friday, November 25, 2005

You can't fight City Hall


Well, I went to the city hall to speak to them about a fine I got for driving without a licence. I explained that I did in fact have a licence, but it was stolen six months ago and I have applied for a new one, but it has not yet arrived. Well of course, they sent me to speak with someone else. On my way to the fourth person I had to speak to I was starting to be reminded of the Twelve Tasks of Asterix. When I got to the office there was a huge Astrix poster next to it, the Cape Town Children’s library is opposite the corridor. I can't help thinking that some petty bureaucrat is having a laugh. Well I was defeated, they took my fine forms, didn't give me a receipt, and told be to come back on Wednesday.

City Hall 1
Schpat O


This church in Norway has had a Harry Potter themed mass to coincide with the release of the new movie there. They played the theme music and the participants were dressed in fancy dress including dark robes. Obviously some people were upset. A theologian named Hakon Stornes, who is also a priest, criticised the service:

"Harry Potter's literary universe is set in a magical adventure land, far from what children today experience as relevant for their daily lives."

My answer to that: "Yeah, and 2000 years ago the Middle East was exactly like suburban Norway!"

Scientist and the General Public both agree that Newton had more of an impact the Einstein. the survey showed that 50.1% of the public preferred Newton over Einstein (49.9%). Newton won by more of a landslide among scientists thought, 60.9% vs 39.1%.

A man in Croatia is trying to settle his debts by selling is body parts. The has offered a kidney and a cornea up for sale, even though it is illegal to do so in Croatia. He owes about R245 000.


Well a story on IOL today brought a group calling themselves "Freegans" to my attention. If you hate the consumer world we live in and don't want to contribute to it then Freeganisim is the answer to you. A lot like the way vegans believe that by not partaking of animal products they are not contributing to the demand and therefore the industry, these people believe that if you only use stuff that was free then you are not contributing to the rising consumerism. How do you go about getting all this free stuff? Well the answer is simple: Dumpster Diving. They claim to get nearly everything for free from dumpsters, including food. For shelter they squat. If you feel an urgent need to become a freeloading hippie you can check out this site for more info. What I found quite amusing was that there was a section of the site the sold how to guides, as an example there is a 22 min how to video for sale for $20. Everything for free huh?



Last night at role-plying I realised that our little Thursday night [why isn't that Thursnight?] group has two couples in it! I'm starting to feel out numbered, maybe HoleyCrusader and I should "hook-up" so that we don't feel left out. Other than that I'm going to my folks for supper now also I'm bummed that today isn't payday like I thought, gonna have to wait till Monday. Five week months, don't ya love 'em.


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Early morning issues

Physics is screwing with my sleep patterns. The sun is now rising (I realise the sun doesn't rise but that the earth rotates) really early, to top it off my new flat is higher than the last one and my bedroom has a different facing. The results of this are that full daylight happens at about 5:30. It's like living in bloody Durban! Well, when the sun comes up it's the cue to my cat that it's breakfast time, cats don't have snooze buttons!

Why don't cats have snooze buttons? If they did they'd never get fed in the morning. Their owners would just continue to hit the button until it was so late that they barely had time to shower and dress before being late for work.


I went to that site recommended by Koos and read a few of the articles. I specifically read a few of the articles that discount evolution and I thought that some very interesting points were raised. If that's where it stopped it would be cool, unfortunately it didn't stop there, the basic arguments were:

1. Some people believe in evolution and not creation
2. We have found some holes in the theory of evolution
3. Therefore evolution is crap
4. Therefore creation is the way to go.

This is quite obviously a fallacious argument, just because two theories have been proposed and one is proved incorrect doesn't mean that the other is correct. Another article written by Richard Deem (the site creator) explains how we know that God created the universe, by misusing Occham's Razor. I'll summarise here:

1. In order for the Big Bang to have occurred "by itself" an almost infinite number of random variables would have to coincide, or an omnipotent being could simply have created it.
2. Occham's Razor states that when the answer is unknown, the simplest option should be preferred.
3. God creating the universe is simpler than a bazillion variables coming together therefore God created the universe.

Ape ManThe main problem with this use of Occham's Razor is that it presupposes the existence of God. It doesn't factor in the complexities of an omnipotent being who can do anything, except create a rock that he cannot lift.

I ordinarily wouldn't have gone into this, but today is the 146th anniversary of the publication of "on The Origin of Species". Look at the guy in the right here, how can you tell me he didn't descend from the apes!


Some Swedish girls have developed an anti rape belt. It's really simple, basically it takes two hands to unfasten and makes rape a much more complicated affair.

A club owner burnt down his establishment after trying to prove to safety inspectors that the paper hangings could not cause a major fire. The question I'd like answered: "Is it arson?"

Our friend JZ is still entitled to all his perks of being deputy president, even though he was fired! Also the police have found seaman in the pants provided by the rape accuser. If ol' JZ did rape this woman it would prove that he's even more stupid than we thought, it's commonly known that she's HIV positive. The ANC have been very quiet about the fighting within the party, but Bantu Holimisa has a thing or two to say about it. Bantu formed the UDM after being kicked out of the ANC after he accused some of it's members of corruption, seems they've always been intolerant of these kind of things.

Well the X box 360 was released, and already people are selling it on Ebay" for twice the asking price. Also there have been loads of complaints about the hardware crashing.

Can you believe that a South African started PayPal, I didn't know. Also he sold that and another web company for almost three times as much as Mark Shuttleworth did. The only difference is that he was living in the states at the time, and he's less of a hippie. Any way there's something about South African Billionaires and space, this guy didn't just go, he's turned it into his next business venture, cheaply launching satellites.


What were they thinking??? Another font please!

Mega Movis would have worked


Well, it's late and I have to refuel my chariot before role-playing. TallAndSkinny was very late on tuesday night and I blame that for the lack of gaming activity.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Another long, yet interesting, post


Well I've had to review my thinking on the police force here in South Africa, here's why. On Sunday I had to go to my local police station in order to get some documents signed. I got to chatting to the inspector (the guy what is in charge) and he filled me in on a few horrifying details.

The first thing he told me about was the disastrous staff shortages. The police station in Pinelands is manned by only three people at any one time. One of them is left at the station and the other two cruise around in their van. This isn't just for Pinelands either, they also cover Ndebeni and parts of Epping and Langa. Just three policemen! There are sometimes six of them on duty, during a shift change.

The second thing was the shocking salaries these guys are paid. The inspector I spoke with told me that he had been with the police force for sixteen year, during which time he had earned a diploma and a degree in policing through UNISA. In any corporate environment the guy in charge of a section, with vast experience and qualifications would be raking it in every month, this guy's salary: R7 500. For less experiences and more junior officers it's much less than that. That's just shocking, there is no incentive to become a police officer, and you can understand why these guys accept bribes.

Well, you say, poor pay is fine because it's really easy to become a cop, no real prior qualifications are necessary. Well that's true, in fact the third thing the inspector told me was that they had dropped a lot of the entry requirements making it even easier to become a cop. Obviously this is because the average person who used to meet the requirements could probably get a better job elsewhere. So this leads to moronic policemen.

The fourth thing the inspector told me was that the police, until very recently, used to work 12 hour shifts with four days on and four days off. During their off time they would be able to supplement their income by working for private security firms, often paying more than the police. In the four day off period it was easy to work three eight hour shifts and effectively double their income. So what does the SAPS human resource department do about this, well they stop it of course. Now policemen work eight hour shifts five days on and two days off, while this does mean more policemen it effectively prevents them from moonlighting. Also those extra policemen are all working at different times which doesn't help the staff shortage at all.

So what does all this mean to my stand point on the cops?

Well the thing is this, I sympathise with them. I mean who'd want to be over worked and under paid? We all joke about this but these guys really are. With the seriously little money these guys are paid they need to supplement their income somehow. Is it their fault that they take bribes and don't do their jobs properly because they don't earn enough? Hell yeah it is! But I still feel sorry for them. It isn't however their fault that they are under-qualified and under-experienced to do their jobs.

In short, I still don't trust the police, but I've got masses of sympathy for them.


Well to tie into the main opinion piece on this post here is an article about how some weapons were stolen from the police station in Maitland. One Shotgun and three handguns, the perfect starter kit for armed robberies.

This guy claims he was harrased by a ghost for sex for sixteen years before an exorcism was performed. The exorcism consisted mainly of offering the ghost a groom in the form of a paper doll, to ensure that the ghost would accept the proposal a paper maid and butler were also provided to show that the groom would be able to look after his spouse. All three were sent up in smoke.

Here's one for Zen and I to be worried about. Scientists have stated that the hookah may be hazardous to your health. It may cause gum disease just like regular smoking does. Nothing fun is ever good for you is it?

Teens sells mom's home porn. Yes, that's right a teen who stole her mom's video camera and sold it to a friend didn't realise that mommy and her boyfriend had left a little bonus material on the cassette. The mother's boyfriend found out when the footage started circulating in the neighbourhood.

And to challenge your notions on prehistoric plant life scientists have discovered that dinos dined on grass! This means that dinosaurs were around at the same time as grass, which flies in the face of previously held scientific theory, the impact of this is that dinosaurs and mammals might have co-inhabited the mad ball we call Earth. Wow, if scientists are wrong about this then maybe they're wrong about that whole evolution thing too!

Some women in the Good Ol' U S of A called the 911 emergency number to complain that her onion rings were cold. The waiter had brought her food to here cold, she phoned because she wanted the police to do something about it. Well they did, they high-tailed it on over there to arrest her ass!

And finally something to give you a good scare, at least if you live in the northern areas of our country. Prez Mugabe has announced that Zimbabwe will begin to dabble in nuclear power. Yep, that's right, they've found deposits of uranium and now they want to use them to produce electricity, apparently from scratch! Hey, it's a perfect excuse for the yanks to come in a depose an undemocratic regime, a pity they don't have anything valuable like oil!


I thought this follow-up story deserved its own section. Kenyan voters have declared that vitamin C is much better that potasium! or is that oranges make better juice than bananas! or is it that they are unhappy with the current president! or maybe that they didn't agree with the draft constitution that had been put before parliament, nah couldn't have been that, that's way to complicated an issue.

The democratic process was ridiculed yesterday when masses of Kenyan voters voted for fruit. I really don't understand how the complex issues that surround an new constitution can be understood by the voting public when they can't even tell the difference between "YES" and "NO". The whole thing was a sham, it ended up being a popularity contest in which supporters of various political parties (mostly organised on tribal lines) were told which fruit to draw their "X" next to. Apparently it's easier to be democratic when people do what they are told!

Actually I'm glad the vote ended up as a "NO", but it's a far cry from actual democracy.


I'm very surprised that no one has spotted any resemblance to any one we know in the picture with the gorilla. C'mon people do I have to spell it out?

Here is an amusing notice form a newspaper, I think it's rather funny actually.


Well not much to say in the sign off, I've said a lot already. I'm off to role-playing tonight so that should be fun, unless of course TallAndSkinny doesn't pitch, then it'll probably be majong or something.

schpat out

PS: no power failures interrupted this post!

Friday, November 18, 2005

It never rains...


Well it was an interesting game last night. We met a new character and got to totally mess with some poncy elves! Henri would probably have been friendlier if they had treated the party with a little more respect, but when you approach us with that air of superiority you just gota take what you get. Also just remember that Henri is not above shooting overly poncy, unreasonable elves in the back.

The new character seems a bit odd, but much nicer and friendlier than the one who is leaving. This is probably better for party cohesion.


Well after everyone else had left I stood around and chatted to Zenstar at the car for a bit. Then got in my car and left down the road, that was at about 12:30am. Suddenly there are these really bright lights in my rear-view mirror and they're really close and moving quickly! I go "fuck, where did they come from?" Now at this point I think it's some dodgy drunk student and I decide ok, put some distance between us. "Warp speed Mr Sulu." (I would have said 'ramming speed' but now that we know about Sulu I didn't think that was such a good idea) Anyway, the more distance I give the fuckers, the closer they seem to get, fuck, give an inch and all that. I'm now starting to get worried, so I put peddle to metal and head round the corner into Alma Rd with a little hand brake assistance.

OMFG these guys are still behind me and closing in, I gotta get onto Liesbek so that I got more options, these back streets are really cramped! Ok avoid robots on Alma by sliding round the corner and really gunning it to the little on-ramp to Liesbek. They start flashing their head lights and I realise that they really are after me, I'm not just imagining it. I'm worried, what if they are just trying to tell me about something, but what if they want to like hijack and rob me? I decide that the best course of action is to actually stop in the on-ramp so that they can't pull up next to me. So I stop there and open the door, I step out of the car, grabbing a large bludgeoning implement on the way, only to find myself about to threaten a pair of cops, who are dumbfounded and currently reaching for their weapons.

I inform them that they scared the bajeebers out of me, and instruct them that a simple flash of those nifty blue lights would have avoided all the confusion. They understand and decide not to shoot me, a good thing all in all. Apparently they saw me getting into a car and leaving late at night and suspected me to be a car thief, they were close by with their lights off. I tell them thanks for protecting and serving, but think to myself that the average car thief doesn't exit the building with two other people, open the car, dump some stuff in it, see one of the others off in his car, chat to the other person for half an hour then leave; I didn't point this out of course. I think they felt quite sheepish about the whole not using the blue lights thing because they seemed as happy to see me leave as I was to get out of there. I still don't trust the cops though.


These British folks are going to try fooling eight reality tv contestants that they have been sent to space. I think anyone with half a brain cell would realise if the launch was faked, but it might be good for a laugh. It does however raise ethical question about lying to people, it's the closest thing to the Truman Show I can think of, and that's kinda cool.

In another brilliant move the South African government has decided to sign a joint defence agreement with Zimbabwe. I mean WTF!??!!?! In the article the Zimbabwe's Minister for State Dydimus Mutasa is quoted as saying:

"The greatest threats to the stability of the region and Zimbabwe in particular is the threat of exogenous influences whose aim is to effect regime change especially in regards to my country"

How exactly did you guys get into power again, comrade?

In the same article Zimbabwe Defence Minister Sydney Sekeramayi said accounts of human rights abuses in Zimbabwe were merely imagined. Merely Imagined? that to the refugees.

I know this pic is actually anti-yank propaganda, but the message applies equally well here.


Does anyone in this photo look familar to you?

Here is another one that ties in with moonflake's post. While I resemble that remark I still agree with what moonflake is saying. Also I'm not at the pushing others out of their airline seats yet, the seats is snug, but I still fit. Also, like I said in my 20 random things, I realise that there is an issue and that I should do something about it.

I'm not as big as this dude am I? Someone would tell me if I was, right?


Well folks, that's all she wrote. This weekend I plan on not doing much at all, I may check out Episode II in Lego Star Wars.


Thursday, November 17, 2005

Eskom hates me!

Well It's been a long while since I blogged, I apologise for the delay, but work has been very hectic. We're currently planning for the festive season, our biggest time of year, and the stress is piling on. I'll do my best to at least post something small every day, but no promises!


One of the other reasons you haven’t had a post in so long was the huge power failure on friday. I was a long was through a long post on friday when some bright-spark computer program decided to drop the rods into the reactor core. I lost everything (oh the irony!!).

Well I had Zenstar round for supper twice over the weekend, I've been bowling (this is a lot of fun), And I performed home dentistry on myself last night (obviously that’s now the night before last). After my home (pain free) dentistry Elisabeth and I sat on our balcony enjoying the view, evening, good coffee and a nice cigar, it was very cool. I'll be doing that more often.

It's good to see that Total Waste's hot meat on Moonflake's chin is more important that the RAF, it got more comments!


Well, they news is both good and bad. The bad news is that the date we chose (3rd December) clashes with ObsFest. Now I know we can't compete with drunken revelry so I decided to move SchpatCON out by two weeks until Saturday the 17th, this gives us yet another occasion for drunken revelry. The good news is that it means we have more time to sort out all the timing issues we've had due to hectic work pressure and unforeseen international business trips. I promise that SchpatCON will be worth the wait.


I'm not going to bore you with too much detail here, but I've got some stuff I'd like to point out.

Doctors claim that this guy in the UK hasBeaten AIDS. Apparently his sample tested positive and then some time later another sample tested negative. They've apparently checked both samples for contamination and to verify that they are from the same source.

Some guy calculated that Flying to Hong Kong is Cheaper than Telkom ADSL. Actually it's cheaper to fly to Hong Kong and Download 100GB of data at an internet cafe than it is to Download the same amount of data over the fastest Telkom ADSL line, about R1,900 cheaper! Also it only takes like a day and a half as oppose to nine and a half days here. I haven’t checked the calcs, but its interesting.

I'm sure that you know by now that ex-dep-prez JZ has been in the news again, this time with allergations of rape. Now the ANCWL (that's woman's league) is getting in on the action demanding that the case is treated in a very serious light. This is doing nothing to fix the divide between JZ and TM, but they keep denying these tensions exist. They also vehemently deny that there has been any cover up, judge for yourselves. Now it seems as if Cosatu is rethinking it support after this newest allegation. Wow, that's a lot of links for one story. Don't you think it's strange that IOL hasn't set up a separate section for ZumaGate? (yep I've named it) At the moment they still have a section for the Shaik trial, do you think that they might be scared about drawing attention to the person who might become our next Prez?

beep ba beep ba beep beep beep

This just in: ARRGHHH!

Another power failure while typing a blog post!!!! Luckily I had saved recently. Twice now an "anomaly in the power grid" caused Koeberg computer program to drop the control rods and "cool" the reactor. Sounds like a Star Trek plot doesn't it? Just replace 'power' with 'sub-space' and 'reactor' with 'warp-core' and you'll see what I mean. Now Star Trek plots are made up to make us happy, where eskom's stories also fabricated to keep us happy? To point out one little issue with their story: They claim that yesterday's issue was caused by a fire under a transmission line about 80km from CT, but the relevant fire department denies that any fire existed! Is Green Peace right? Or is it Green Peace causing these issues? Mmm interesting!

We now return you to your scheduled programming

beep ba beep ba beep beep beep

Major retailers are planning on trading using finger prints as a method of payment instead of cash or credit cards. But even they admit:

"However, if a criminal chops of someone's finger or hand, then it could be used for a while, and thereafter would be useless. We are busy working on this and investigating different technology to detect this."


This is the last picture of looter guy. Stay tuned, a new series starts soon.


The Simpsons was especially funny last night, they used a “look into the future with the true science of Astrology” to see how the simpsons were fareing 8 years later. Well Bart and Lisa were teens and there were robots everywhere, even a special appearance by Futurama’s Bender. It also had a really adult theme with much more innuendo and sexuality than normal, because Bart and Lisa were teens. The heading here was really much funnier in context, a context I am not going to explain!


I’ve just had my Fire Marshal training and boy am I glad Denzel Washington wasn’t in charge. I now know where the radios are and what to do in case of an emergency or drill. Also I get to say “COPY”, “COME IN” and “OVER”, woot.


Well, it's taken a long time to get this post to you, but now you have it. Also I've updated the news section of the blog and the links. If anyone out there knows a way to update this sections without updating the blogger template, please let me know.

I’m looking forward to role-playing tonight, it think there’s role-playing tonight.


Monday, November 07, 2005



Well I had a really cool and productive weekend. Saturday morning was a lot of sleeping and relaxing, the afternoon was a lot of general housework. The relaxing really helped getting me energised to do the work. On Sunday morning I discovered that Zenstar and Moonflake's fridge had packed up and the freezer compartment was full of food that would rot if quick action was not taken. I went round to pick the stuff up and invited Zen round for supper, because Moonie is away, he had an exam today and I wanted to make sure he had a decent meal. Actually It was really because I could! I cooked Pork Chops marinated in cider with garlic and rosemary. It was yummy. Then we sat on the balcony chatting with Elisabeth for many hours, I hope his exam went well.


Aids man gets prison time. At first I thought that this story might be about a new super hero being unfairly punished because the public were not fully aware of the good he was doing, but I was mistaken. This is a story of a modern-day Typhoid Mary spreading one of the worst communicable diseases in history. I'm glad this guy is getting jail time, but one has to ask what kind of president is being set. Engaging in unprotected sex is risky business, his partners knew that, by not telling them that he was HIV+ was he putting them in more danger than a prudent person would expect? If you answered yes is a friend who purposely understates the statistical probability of death during sky-diving responsible when his buddy is planted? Just a slippery slope for you to think about.

Copernicus' bones found. The remains of the man currently held responsible for Heliocentric theory have apparently been discovered. They plan on doing DNA tests to see if it really is him, although getting comparative samples might be a problem. Now, if it were Galileo's bones they'd have found getting a DNA sample would have been a piece of cake, his hand was removed and stored in the Vatican after his death. They probably also know that it was his body because it would be missing a hand!

Zenstar and I both, independently, claimed to have seen shooting stars last night. Well apparently now is a good time for viewing them, check out this story. At least we weren't in the grip of some kind of mass hysteria or anything.


Well last week the body corporate of my block had a meeting, unfortunately not enough people arrived to achieve quorum. That sounds sordid! Anyway, the meeting has been rescheduled for today so I'll be off to that soon.



Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Christmas Special

So It's been a little while since I’ve blogged, that's because I've been doing loads of work and a little bit of research for the Schpat Dope. I've had a mostly uninteresting week, I visited Zenstar on Tuesday night and we took a little trip to the V&A where we checked out the gadget and toy shops, had Ice-cream and generally arbed for a bit.


More corruption in the government. I'm sure that by now this totally doesn't shock you at all, but it's always good to know when your Deputy President AND your President have both been implicated in separate corruption scandals. Seriously, undermining a UN trade embargo is a pretty stupid move. I doubt anything will actually come of this, but give it a read.

Another case of mob justice. But surprising about this was that the police were there the whole time, but claim they were powerless to stop it. Personally when people resort to being mobs and start handing out mob justice, it is completely within the bounds of the law to start shooting them, trust me this'll knock the steam right out of them. I think it's more likely a case of the cops wishing they could do what the rest of the crowd was doing, especially since he was suspected of shooting a cop the day before. To be clear here, I feel very little for the know criminal that was killed here, but I still believe that he deserved a fair and speedy trial. As a side note, count the number of time the word "alleged" is used in the article.

How to pleasure yourself and others. This is apparently what a "guide for girls" published by the Women's Institute of the central northern region of Castilla La Mancha in Spain should have been called. The publishers intended for the guide to be a guide on how to "love themselves" and how to give "give sexual expression to others". The guide, aimed at 11 to 18 year olds and distributed in schools, suggested that girls find a "confidante" to give them full body massages, it included pictures of girl on girl massage action. Sounds like a fun read, where can I get one?



Yes folks, as you've noticed I've added a little widget to the blog that shows where people are reading from. It's quite a nifty little thing that I found thanks to ChityChityBangBang!. What I've noticed is that I have a regular reader in south eastern Europe, probably Croatia or Slovakia. Whoever you are I'd really appreciate it if you give us a shout and let us know exactly where you are. If you have a blog I'd love to reciprocate and read it. I love the way the internet has shrunk the world.

I've also noticed that about an equal number of people read my blog in Jo'burg and Cape Town. If you're in Jozi and reading this drop in a comment. Hell for that matter if you're reading this and have never commented before drop me a comment so I know whom to add to my Christmas card list.

In fact, everybody who responds to this post, local or international, will get a Christmas card from me this year. All you need to do is post a comment saying what town and country you're from, and a blog address if you have one. Then mail me at with your actual address and I'll stick something in the post forthwith.

That's it for today
schpat out

Monday, October 31, 2005

Schpat sees the future

Hey folks, I had a very relaxing weekend, didn't do too much and got out more than once. It was great. I predidcted it, the WoW expansion has a new continent and new races, two for two! Now I'm conivinced that they'll open a South African server and that ADSL will be as cheap as chips by the year after next. Buy the way you can already get always-on net access for R370 per month (R270 telkom line rental and R100 isp from CyberSmart), admittedky it's only a 192 line, but work it out!


One of the high points of my weekend started off as just taking Elisabeth for a drive but ended up as one of the most impressive restaurant experiences I've ever had in Cape Town.

Elisabeth and I were driving down Sea Point main road on an Ice-cream outing when we noticed that Saul's had opened a new sushi bar, the sign outside said something like "all the size and quality you've come to expect form Saul's". For those of you who don't know of Saul's, they claim to have the biggest and best burgers in Cape Town. I've only ever been there once, with my brother, but I remember that it was impressive. We decided to drive to the end of the road and then on the way back stop for a small sushi snack before Ice-cream. Unfortunately though the new place wasn't open yet as they are still waiting for the gambling licence, it's a las vegas themed sushi bar.

We ended up taking our excursion further up the road to an interesting little place we had spotted called 'Soju' advertising Korean sushi. This place is Da Bomb!!! We each ordered only one item off the sushi menu, because it was only supposed to be an impromptu sushi snack, the hosts still gave us the complementary miso soup. I remembered something from my time in Korea, every restaurant served a cooled tea at the table instead of water, and asked about it, we got that too. We were so impressed by the attitudes of the hosts, they were really happy that we were showing an interest, that we decided to actually stay for supper. Elisabeth has some more sushi and I had some Korean porky goodness that came with side dishes and everything. Afterwards we were given slices of watermelon as desert, also complimentary. This was the closest thing to the restaurants in Asia that I have ever experienced, it was great. It all only cost R160, which is very little when you consider it was starters and main and desert. And the hosts were like supper impressed when I thanked them in Korean. That place rocks, I will be going there again.


Government is trying to legalise spying on private telephone and email conversations. I don't know how much this will really affect me, but it sure as hell flies against our constitutional right to privacy. This is one of the most important rights we have, when they start taking that away from us what will be next?

Archeologist finds lost European Pyramids. This in itself is no great news story, but what interests me is that a quick thinking local businessman has bought the land where they suspect that the still buried entrance to the pyramid will be. That's a lesson, always be on the look out for opportunity.

So are the days of Zuma's life! This is another boring story about the JZ saga, the only reason I post it here is to point out some irony. Asked in parliament what his stance on JZ disturbing the peace and inciting violence was, Thabo said:

"In any instance where the law might be broken, I am sure that the police would take the necessary action to deal with that."

Hey Thabo, isn't that what we're trying to do against ol' JZ for corruption? Police intervention seems to have helped so far, yeah right!

Students have independently launched a satellite into orbit. They may not have been the first non-governmental satellite owners, but I think it's pretty impressive.

Star Trek Actor Gay. When I first read this headline I assumed it was just confirming everything we already knew about Will Wheaton, but I was wrong. George Tekai, Cpt Sulu, has come out of the closet. Finally we know why he never made it with Uhura. All day he must have been thinking: "Damn you Spock, curse your emotionless vulcan genes, my love will never be returned!" Anyway, good for him for finally being brave enough, can you imagine if he'd come out in the 70's? As a Gay, Sci-Fi Geek he would have endured double beatings! Will, now that George has started the trend, don't you think you should do the manly thing?

In honour of George I'm linking you back to the looter guy pic where he stared in Star Trek. Poor George, it was his head they chopped off.


And remember That I've just posted fridays pic too, scroll down to check it out.


Yes folks, it's Halloween today. The staff in the lunch room went to extra effort today and converted it into a haunted house complete with costumes and decorations. The food was themed to tie in too, I had the "bat wing casserole". It was yummy. I think I'll buy some sweets on the way home to hand out incase any kids come trick or treating.


Friday, October 28, 2005


The good news is that I survived that duel last night, the bad news is that I've got to fight it again soon. Why won't this guy give up?


As some of you may or may not know my present handset has proved to be too delicate for my "overenthusiastic" use. At the moment I'm sitting with a useless piece of junk that only works like 40% of the time, if I'm lucky. The thing that really upsets me though is that currently I can get a standard weekend contract with two new phones and a PSP, but I'm not eligible for an upgrade until march. By which time they probably wont be offering PSPs for free with cell phones. Anyway I'm still hopping.


'Parking Piracy' at Fountain Square. If you've paid for parking at the Fountain Square in the last six months you've been ripped of, here's the gist of it. The guy who operates the parking lot at the fountain square, Jerome Naidoo, does not actually have any right to do so. He has no lease from the council and is basically stealing your money. So go on, tell the Nigerian 'fee collector' that you're not paying, tell me what he has to say.

There is no link for this story because I've only got it in print, but you can read it on the front page of this week's Tattler.

Zuma is having problems funding his court costs. Well maybe he should have thought of that before squandering the millions he's stolen from the South African people. May be that's the problem, if he suddenly comes up with R12m to pay court costs people may ask too many questions about where the money came from. I can't believe it's actually the poorest of the poor supporting this evil bastard. Hold on.... I think that's the SAPS VIP protection unit at the door!

Prince Harry the subject of unwanted sexual attention. The good ol' price was ordered to drop trow while in a parade so that the officer in charge could see if he had his girlfriends name tattooed on his butt. Here's a quote from the article:

"You should have seen Harry's face. We all fell about laughing. Harry blushed, then he also laughed."

It reminds me a line in William Shatner's "common people":

Laugh along with the common people, Laugh along even though they're laughing at you

Ok so it was Pulp.

The petrol price seems to be coming down by 32c per litre. What, are we not expected to notice that they've pushed it up like a buck fifty in a year? Oil prices are relatively stable now and the rand is better than it was before. What is keeping the prices so high? Is it a coincidence that the drop is so close to the amount charged for the RAF? Has the DME been reading my blog? Sadly probably not on both counts.



Well it's the weekend, I have no plans, but I'm very sure I'm going to be busy the whole time! Good luck to Moonflake for your trip and your short period in NY. You'll be there for Halloween, capitalise!

Schpat out

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Now with headings


Hey all, It's been a slow week, I've had access to all sorts of sites here because for some reason the firewall is down and I've spent most of my free time checking out things like the Straight Dope instead of posting to the blog. Access to TSD has inspired me to again take up the challenge and revive the SchpatDope. Watch this space.


I've actually enjoyed this whole tagging thing, I've found out some interesting things about my friends, all of which endear them more to me. I like TotalWaste's idea of doing this semi-regularly, because since I've done my list I've thought of a hundred other things to say, but I think six months or so should pass first.

Talking about what friends have divulged on their lists, and in light of what Moonflake said I saw an interesting Oprah show last night. Yes occasionally I'll watch the Oprah show if the topic interests me. Anyway the show was about how the clothes you wear can really affect the way you look. Duh right? Well it was more in-depth. There is this pair of British women, Trinny and Susannah, who write books and host a tv show on practical style a fashion. They showed how clothes can be really unflattering and that by simply following some simple guidelines women were able to enhance their figures. One of the things I thought was really neat was that they showed themselves dressed in unflattering clothing while trying for a popular look (white shirt blue jeans) and just by changing the style and shade of jeans improved the overall effect. You won't catch those Queer-Eye dudes using themselves as test subjects! Another interesting thing was that all the outfits they recommended (they rounded up fashion victims in malls and gave them clothing makeovers) were timeless, i.e. not super fashionable and would look as stylish today as they did twenty years ago. But the most interesting thing, and the tie in to Moonie's list, is that 85% of women are wearing the wrong size bra!!!! That's alarming and the bust makeovers were by far the most astounding. I took mental notes on bra fitment tips and techniques so if any of you ladies out there need any advice, who you gonna call? I'm serious here btw, I'm not being lecherous I do actually have your breast best interest in mind.


Paris Hilton is in trouble again. Apparently her boyfriend’s ex-fiancĂ© is suing her for liable and slander. My question who cares? Unless they both end up naked and wrestling in some tasty lubricating substance, and only if the other girl is hot (because Paris isn't), why are people so interested in her life. This is a woman who advises girls to act stupid because it's easier than actually having to understand what people are trying to explain to you. Gee, you unwittingly star in one pornography movie and the world loves you?

Rio is banning postcards depicting bikini wearing lovelies on their beaches. The town fathers believe that these sort of postcards are sending the wrong message to tourists and that people are coming to Rio for the sexual tourism. They don't seem to understand that having a bunch of cheap hookers hanging around the city is probably doing a lot more to promote that idea than any postcard. Also someone should explain to them that people buying these post cards are already in Rio.

Two idiots plan to sail around the world. Ok I paraphrased that head line, but I can't think of any other way to describe this pair. Reid Stowe and Alejandro Molina have decided to circumnavigate the globe in a 21 meter schooner. This in itself is no big deal but the fact that they plan on it taking 1000 days is another matter, they also are not going to make landfall at any point and won't dock with other boats for re-supply or any other reasons.
At first I thought that these guys were a "couple" in the sexual sense but the fact that they are both heterosexual makes it even more perplexing because they are voluntarily giving up sex for almost three years. When asked about why there were no female members on the crew Stowe commented: "There were some women who wanted to go, but not the right ones." He didn't elaborate. As another example of their insanity, as if you needed it, here is a short quote from the article:

"Eating sprouts could cure you of everything," he said, unveiling six small plastic boxes from which he intends to reap a year-round harvest of healthy seedlings.

On the upside apparently NASA has caught wind of their folly and decided to use them for experimentation on the psychological effects of living for long periods in isolated close proximity. Good luck boys!



Wow, a much longer blog post than I expected. I suppose stuff is happening around me! Anyway apparently I have a duel to fight now, it's either kill or be killed in that imaginary world.

schpat out.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A promotion, well more respect anyway

Dear Anonymous: Stop being such a troll wanker! I have no problem with your comment but if you're going to post a comment at least leave a name. I wish there was a way you could allow non-blogspot members to post but still require a nick. If you're actually just someone that forgot to type a name in then you are forgiven.

I have been appointed as Fire Marshal for my floor. Basically this means that when there is a fire drill I get to wear a day-glo orange vest, a day-glo yellow helmet and use a walkie-talkie and loudhailer while ensuring that everybody on my flood evacuates the building. I thought it was a cool idea and even when I mentioned that it meant I'd be in the best position for looting so did my boss. By the way, I'd only really do any looting if there actually was a fire that was about to destroy everything anyway. And in case you're wondering, I will have more respect with day-glo clothing and a loudhailer, people will respect mah authritah!

And speaking of looting:

It's been a slow news week, but here are a few stories that have caught my interest:

Secret codes in printers can allow tracking

IOL today reports that manufactures of colour laser printers have colluded with the US Government in order identify individual printers in the same way that imperfections in old style typewriters can be used to track those. Apparently really small dots are used to code make, model, serial number and time of printing every time a print is made. Manufacturers are not denying this, just giving the normal "no comment". Obviously civil rights groups and conspiracy theorists are up in arms.

Mob beats alleged thief to death

What from the headline appears to be a total barbaric killing of an innocent, actually turns out to be the total barbaric killing of a guilty person. While I believe the guilty should be punished, mob violence scares me, just imagine people getting out of a taxi just joining in the "fatal beating" without knowing all the details, if it doesn't scare you let me know. As an aside, I hate this new politically correct speak that uses words like alleged and suspected even when it's absolutely obvious what the person did, look out for it, you'll know it when you see it.

Man held after failing illegal alien 'test'

Yet another reason I don't trust the police. What happens if Detective Sergeant Pogenpoel decided that my accent sounds too British, does the same thing happen to me? It sounds a lot like these cops have a side business and arrest people at random hopping to elicit a bribe, those that refuse to pay are simply released later after being roughed up a bit. If you missed the reference to not trusting the police it's all about the "offending drivers" round-up they did in restaurants a few months ago. Actually, come to think of it, weren't most of the people rounded up illegal?

I've recently been tagged by a bleeme (that's blog meeme) and although I don't usually respond to these kind of things I will to this one. TotalWaste didn't really explain the rules, but from checking out the chain I think I've worked it out, here they are: Link to the person who tagged you; compile 20 random facts about yourself that people may be interested to know; tag as many people as it took you in minutes to compile the list; link to those people thus ensuring the chain!

Here goes:

1. I hate it when people use “Quantum Leap” to mean a big change, I know the common usage is now prevalent, but a quantum is small damn it!.
2. This morning I bought a whole fillet of Norwegian salmon and repackaged it into smaller portions, my hands still smell like fish
3. I gave my first girlfriend a bracelet that I bought from some kid who "sold jewellery", it was real cheap and in retrospect I've always thought that he had stolen it. Hey I was like 12!
4. When writing something I often change the word I was intending to use because I don't know how to spell it.
5. My first cat's name was 'Pepper" and my first dog's name was 'Sam'.
6. I'm still sometimes have an irrational fear of the dark, this also happens sometimes when I'm not sure what is behind me.
7. I wish I had some kind of artistic ability.
8. I'm glad I have the leet power to organise the shit out of stuff, sometimes I even impress myself with this.
9. I wish I had worked harder at Varsity, I believe that I could have had just as much fun without sacrificing my studies as much.
10. I work better under a deadline.
11. I need to lose weight, I know it, I accept it, I want to do it, I just can't bring myself to eating small quantities of crap food.
12. I have goals, they involve me being financially well off, I'm not ashamed about this.
13. Sometime I have major urges to "do the wrong thing", like throwing something voluble out of a window to see what will happen.
14. I like helping others, but sometimes resent the interruptions.
15. I once stole an apple from the fresh produce market, my mother made me take it back and apologise
16. I love Star Trek, but I don't consider myself a "Trekkie"
17. I don't play favourites, I don't have favourite music, songs, artists, books, movies, tv shows. I have ones I hate, dislike, don't care about, like, like alot ands love.
18. I feel that a lot of the time people don't understand me. Not in an existential angsty kind of way, but when I explain stuff they don't know what I mean. If I do stuff sometimes they don't understand why.
19. I don't really remember much unless I'm triggered by something. I can't think of any embarrassing moments (except running naked through a holiday resort at 3am a night shouting at the top of my voice) and I always forget to do things unless reminded.
20. I lied, I've filled out the bleeme, but I'm not passing it on! It ends here!

That's all for today

Friday, October 21, 2005

Comments Suck

Why do comments suck, because I can't use the html tags for colour in the comments here on blogspot. I really didn't want to make another blog post about this, I was happy deal with it as part of the comments, but because of the above mentioned issue here are my responses to peoples comments. BTW keep em comming!

First of all my apologies to H*, one or two of my points are have come across with way more venom than I intended. Admittedly I'd just driven to PE and back in a 72 hour period with only 8 hours of sleep in the middle. I know this is no excuse, so I'm still apologising. I am still looking forward to your responses to my points though.

Now some replies:


Dude, double negatives are confusing me, I'm still really tired!


Before I respond to your criticism of my post, I would like to clarify that the post on my blog, to which d@vid has linked, is completely unrelated to this discussion. It was inspired by an argument with considerably less sane and educated people than any of you, which should be obvious from the kind of behaviour that it makes fun of. I don't have to explain this, but I would like to, out of politeness. And no, none of this has been a "social experiment"; I do not play stupid mind games with people.

Never actually thought that for a second, It is a pretty funny coincidence though.

You want me to explicitly state which statement of Moonflake's is demonstrably false? OK, here we go:

"You break an arm, a leg, and your face is scarred for life." (...)
"Does the Road Accident Fund pay out? NO."

I believe that this statement would be interpreted by any English-speaking person as implying that the RAF does not pay out for the medical costs associated with broken limbs or facial scarring, especially since the separate issue of paying out for emotional damage suffered is addressed in the next point.

This would naturally be alarming to just about anyone if it were true, but it is not - it isn't even what is claimed in the writeup supporting the petition. This is, however, presented as a supporting fact, not an opinion. Is that clear enough for everyone?

Ok, that's great, if people actually tell others which part of their discussion they are disagreeing with then it becomes much easier to understand where they are coming from and argue the actual points. The problem here is that what moonflake said might be true depending on the way the law is interpreted. (I'm not going into it too much here, but laws are a set of rules that are interpreted by the courts to determine the meaning.) Here is what the Johannesburg Attorneys Association have to say on the matter.

"Section 21 of the Bill removes the common law right to claim for anything that the Road Accident Fund does not pay out, and Section 17 provides that the Road Accident Fund will only be liable to compensate for "a serious injury". What is a serious injury you ask? A serious injury is defined as being, in the draft of 31 August 2005, assessed "... on a prescribed method adopted after consultation with medical service providers". These medical practitioners will have to be accredited with the Road Accident Fund "... in the prescribed manner".

Sources close to the Law Society advise that almost every injury that you sustain in an accident, short of those that essentially ruin the rest of your life, will be excluded and you can rest assured that you will be receiving no compensation if "all" you suffer, as a result of an accident, is a few broken arms and legs and a couple of months only of hospitalization and no work. "

So basically these guys think that Moonflake is right. Because these guys represent more than 3000 Lawyers in Jo'burg, I think they are more qualified than any of us here to interpret the bill.

Me: When you state your opinion in a public forum, people are going to disagree with you.

You: Well no, they might also agree with her.

See, what you are doing here is bizarrely misinterpreting my statement. Perhaps I should again be more explicit. I meant to say "If you state your opinion in a public forum, it is to be expected that some people will disagree with you and say so", not "Clearly everybody is going to disagree with you because you are evidently wrong", as you seem to believe.

Fair enough, sorry.

You: You see what you are doing here is implying that she is wrong, but because you do not actually reference her position you give her no option to defend her it.

I apologise profusely; I thought it was obvious from the prior comments which statement I found objectionable. I have just clarified what it was.

Also Fair enough apology accepted.

You: So you've already attacked Moonflake's integrity and credibility, now you use a classic "Guilt by Association" fallacy to say "Moonflake sucks, therefore her opinion is wrong! Nice going.

Ah, thank you for putting words in my mouth again. I was criticising the way Moonflake responds to dissenting opinions, on the basis of the exchanges of comments that I have read in her blog. This is an entirely separate issue to the facts surrounding the RAF, and the part where I say "Ha! I don't approve of the way you argue with people, therefore your opinion is wrong!" exists entirely in your mind. You know, it is possible to address multiple offshoots of a discussion in a single comment, without blending all of them into a single unified statement of "You suck!" or "You are totally right about everything!"

Ok, I'm sorry if I read this incorrectly but when you say something like "usually, it seems, right after someone has brought forward an argument you can't adequately answer" you directly imply that Moonflake can not adequately answer the arguments currently put to her, to me that means you think she is wrong.

I disagree with many of Moonflake's opinions. I also agree with some of them. I don't think that I have been any more rude while disagreeing than she has been in the past.

Fair enough, I'm sorry I might have overreacted but when you say things like "Some people, when presented with evidence that they have stated something as fact which is not actually true, try to rectify the error, so that they do not wilfully perpetuate misinformation." and "The point is to determine what is true and what isn't - for some people, at least." the emotionally charged phrase "some people" implies that those would be the actions of a good/honest/decent person, i.e. what you would do. When you are expressly pointing out things that you feel Moonflake has not done you are therefore implying that she does not fall into the abovementioned category. Again just to be completely clear up until this point Moonflake has not been presented with any evidence that what she has stated is incorrect, only the opinion that someone feels that she is incorrect.

I'm not going to defend H*'s original post here, since he is perfectly capable of doing that if he wants to, except to say that your entire counter-argument also seems to rest on accusing him of opinions that he has never expressed - namely, passing some kind of nebulous value judgement on the wealthy.

No need for you to defend H*'s post, he's a big boy and I know that he can defend himself unless I've brought forward an argument he can't adequately answer! (I just couldn't resist the baiting, but I am only teasing. I realise that just because he doesn't answer me doesn't mean that I'm automatically right. I'd really like to hear his feelings on my points though.)

But to answer your point: You say my entire counter argument rests on accusing him of unexpressed opinions about the deservedness of the wealthy. In fact only three, out of seventeen, of my points answer issues of wealth. The first time I use an example to show that everyone does not contribute to the fund equally. In the second point I try to explain that under our common law people are entitled to compensation for loss, no matter how big that loss is, nobody deserves to be compensated more than anyone else, some people are simply entitled to more compensation than others. And finally the third time I point out that the fact that the limit for claims is set way above the average income does not make it a good thing.

You have convoluted two very different issues: "Is it good for people to be reimbursed for their full loss of income, and emotional damages suffered, as a result of their involvement in road accidents?", and "Should it be the government's responsibility to reimburse these amounts?", which is more to the point.

I don't feel I've convoluted these issues. They are two separate issues. It IS the governments responsibility to protect the citizens. As part of that protection they have instituted laws to stop protect people from harm, these laws cover topics such as sale of drugs/alcohol/tobacco, use of firearms and insurance of road users. Should the government do this? Well that's something you can debate with John Stuart Mill. The fact is that the government has taken on this responsibility and they should do it properly, but that's a new issue. My feelings about what should be paid for have already been stated. The issue is however that while the government has accepted responsibility for the public they are now trying to get out of paying what they are entitled to receive.

I'll end with a thought experiment: A man causes a road accident by colliding with another vehicle. Two streets down, another man causes the exact same kind of accident by colliding with another vehicle. The first man collides with a department store clerk driving a beaten up old golf. The second man collides with the CEO of a multinational company driving a brand new BMW.

Again I'll answer each of your questions separately

Is the second man's crime more severe?

No, and unless he was actually breaking the law at the time he has in fact committed no crime and will not be liable for prosecution. For simplicity lets just say that this is the case in the above scenario, no laws were broken.

If yes, why?

It isn't.

If not, why should he be liable for a monetary punishment hundreds of times higher than that of the first man?

While no crime has been committed loss has however been suffered. Let's separate this into three different categories: medical damages, vehicular damages and financial loss.

Medical: Again for simplicity I'm going to assume that the medical damage is the same and costs the same to fix, fair enough? No difference there.

Vehicular: Let's say both guys cars are written-off, should they both be replaced. Well yes, it doesn't matter that one guy caused R50 000 damage and the other R250 000, both owners are entitled to have their cars replaced. This is easy enough to understand and seems perfectly fair. I know that this damage is not covered by the RAF but it serves as an analogy for the next point.

Financial: Let's say that both injured drivers take a year to recover and during that time can not work. Are they both entitled to be compensated for the money they could have earned during that year. Neither party should have to suffer for an action that was not caused by them.

Is it ethical for the law to force the second man into indentured servitude for the rest of his life so that he can repay his vast debt to the CEO?

Well no, in such a case the courts would probably assess the wrongdoer's means and make him sell assets to cover the costs and if that didn't cover those costs then attach a portion of his salary every month. While the driver here is not going to be happy he is still able to live relatively well (because the courts will not cripple him), but the injured driver is going to suffer.

If not, should the responsibility for paying the debt fall to the government?

Should the debt be paid by the government, no!

If not, where should the money come from?

The insurance that every driver is forced to buy every time he fills his tank should cover him for the damages sustained to the person he has injured. This protects him and the injured party. He does not have to sell his house and the injured party should be compensated for his loss, it's part of the government looking after the citizens. Just remember that the law does not provide that the government pay for the loss, but that the RAF pay for the loss. The RAF is not the government, it is a compulsory insurance that is administered by the government, just like telkom was a communications company administered by the government and transnet was a railway company administered by the government. If the government were paying it would have to pay with tax revenue (this would not be fair), the RAF pays with insurance premiums collected when fuel is purchased. As an aside this one of the reasons farmers receive a subsidy on diesel, because their farm equipment is not run on the roads and is not covered by the RAF.
Confluence, I hope you read this last part of my post and comment on my answers maybe your responses will help me better understand your position.

Here's a looter guy for ya