Well week one of my full blog is drawing to an end. I would have been happier if I had blogged on monday too, but you can't have everything. While I'm on the topic of improvements, I see a lot of you out there ready this here corner of the interweb and I'd really appreciate your feed back. There are a bunch of you folks up north that read and while I know a few people up there I'm not sure who is reading, so leave a comment or two. Also If you don't see your blog listed on my blogroll just let me know, I'm planning on updating the damn thing soon.
So without further ado, in this issue: news, amusement, personal comment and the three best burgers in Cape Town.
IN THE NEWS
Say it ain't so! The Hoff's been beating his wife. Man that's just not cool, Michael Knight would never have done a thing like that. But, alas, we all know that Michael Knight died the day The Hoff put on a pair of Speedo. In the bad taste department Yirmumah has a comic about celebrity wife beating featuring Ike & Tina and The Hoff.
Saturn's moon Enceladus shows signs of water. Knowing about IOL's previous treatment of scientific discovery this probably isn't even really news anymore, but I thought I'd mention it.
Women's right activists are using inflatable sex dolls in an effort to curb the objectification of women in the land of machismo.
Britons are offended by Australian Tourism's rude new catch phrase: "Where the bloody hell are you?". So much so in fact that they've banned the advert. God damn it people, they can show the ad in Salt Lake City and nobody minds much, grow a fucking sense of humor. Then again maybe all the people in Salt Lake City that would be offended have already shunned TV?
What do you think about this rather defensive statement from ex-head of Koeberg. Kinda interesting huh? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Austrians are special. That's my conclusion after they decided to grind up a chondite meteorite and sprinkle it on postage stamps. While this might seem like a cool idea can you guys think of any possible better way to spread an alien virus? I mean this is like a Sci-Fi that just writes itself.
In a close second to the Penis Story we have a Dildo Story. Denmark's national symbol, a statue of the little mermaid in Copenhagen, was defaced by having said sex toy attached to it. "March 8th", national women's day in Denmark, was also painted in the statue, but authorities doubt this was the work of feminists. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
And in a surprise return the is actually another Penis Story this week! A German burglar has managed to escape prison due to the fact that he has a permanent erection. Not even sticking needles in it helped, I'm sure a course of leeches would though.
THE PHARMACY MESS
It looks like esteemed health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang is trying to fuck pharmacists again. Damn pinko scum, have you ever heard of the free market? Here's an alternate solution for you, give poor people free medicine and let the rest of us decide what works best for us. I was really upset the first time this legislation was introduced because the pharmacy where I get my medicine from used to give huge discounts but were no longer allowed to under the new legislation. In an emergency if I couldn't make it out to the discount pharmacy I was more than happy to pay a premium to the local pharmacy just for convenience sake.
The health minister really doesn't have very much to worry about. Large corporation are going to put small pharmacies out of business by competing against them much quicker than she can. An example of this is the fact that Clicks plans on having a pharmacy in every store, it's not for the pharmacy cash, but rather as a means to get you into their shop and buy their items.
A free market and competition driving prices down. who would ever have thought?
AN UPDATE ON NEWS AND RANT
Well you've all watched CSI, NCIS, Crossing Jordan, Medical Detectives or some cloned variation of the aforementioned shows? Remember how those folks were able to comb a crime scene and uncover the minutest little fragment of fiber or hair that would lead to the apprehension and prosecution of evil lawbreakers? Didn't the fact that there were trained professionals working for the police help you sleep better at night? Well I don't want to shatter your illusions but these trained pro's took 27 hours to find a little girls body that was under the bed in the room that she was supposedly kidnapped from. This is because we are living in South Africa, where police rely on good luck and confessions to solve crimes, as opposed to actual investigative work.
That's right the body of the four year old granddaughter of Gauteng Judge President who was "kidnapped", was found under her bed yesterday. The picture on the right shows the number of policemen on the scene shortly afterwards who failed to discover her.
National police commissioner Jackie Selebi has gone on record as stating that he has "never experienced such levels of incompetence before". He has promised that heads will roll.
Gauteng police commissioner Perumal Naidoo stated that there was nothing wrong, the police didn't miss anything, they conducted a thorough search of the premises and found the body. He didn't think that the fact that they only search one half of the house yesterday leaving the other half for today was an issue. Stupid, fucking, arse-covering moron. He deserves to be dragged out into the street and shot. What was the emotocon for rage? >:# (I'm going with this until further notice.
BURGER HEAVEN
Ok, so now to the part where I tell you folks about the three best burgers in Cape Town, or at least the three places to go for the best burgers in Cape Town. These are not your normal Steers or Spur burgers, let alone McDonald's. These burgers are works of art that are almost too perfect to consume, but too tempting not too.
Second Runner Up: Saul's Saloon, Main Road Seapoint.
Saul's makes an excellent burger. They're big, hearty and come with a metric fuckpile of chips. They have various options on the size of the burgers and even do chicken, but unfortunately their variations on the burger theme leave a little to be desired. I love Saul's, I have fond memories of dropping my brother off at school when he missed his bus and letting him skip a few extra periods with me while we stuffed ourselves with Saul's goodness. Another major advantage is that Saul's is open 24 hours a day, but the area leaves a little to be desired.
First Runner Up: The Starlight Diner, Tygervally (in the parking lot opposite the Velodrome)
The Starlight Diner, is a magical place that reminds you of 50's american culture. It;s a proper diner complete with booths and a bar counter, the waitron uniforms are pretty authentic too. As I've mentioned there are booths, these are roomy and comfortable, with ample space to stretch out and enjoy your evening. The menu at Starlight is bliss with many, many appealing dishes, but we're here to talk about burgers. The burgers are very good, very large, and very tasty. There are a bunch of varieties with amazing toppings that are out of this world. Starlight is also open 24 hours a day. This is also the place that comes closest to offering that elusive "five dollar shake" talked about at Jack Rabbit Slim's on Pulp Fiction. At current exchange rates it's only a $3.17 shake, but that' s because of a weak rand and not the poor quality of the shake. My personal favorite is the Oreo cookie shake, or the peanut butter shake. As Vincent Vega says, "that's a damn fine shake".
And the Winner is: Royale (Long Street, Cape Town)
This place is named as another reference to Pulp fiction (Royale with cheese). I've never actually been there so I can't comment on the place, but I've had Mr Delivery from them on numerous occasions. This place is undoubtedly the best burger joint in town, undoubtedly. Variety is unmatched. The burgers are the bozmb! My favorite burger here is "The Fat Bastards", a double burger with double everything. That's some yummy shit! Sadly Royale is not open 24hrs so you can't just pop down after partying all night when you need something hot and greasy in your stomach. If you do go however make sure to try their sweet potato chips, they're brilliant with sour cream.
If you folks do go out and try these burgers please let me know and give me some feedback on what you thought.
HOT SAUCE
THE END OF THE POST AS WE KNOW IT
Well, I didn't watch any movies last night, so you're shit outa luck there. Also I'm really tired and I've got some commitments that just can't wait. I feel that this has been a good post, I even worked in two totally natural quotes from Shakespeare, from the same play even, who says this blog isn't erudite (did I spell that right?). Until next time I leave you with this thought:
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~ Theodore Roosevelt
schpat out
So without further ado, in this issue: news, amusement, personal comment and the three best burgers in Cape Town.
IN THE NEWS
Say it ain't so! The Hoff's been beating his wife. Man that's just not cool, Michael Knight would never have done a thing like that. But, alas, we all know that Michael Knight died the day The Hoff put on a pair of Speedo. In the bad taste department Yirmumah has a comic about celebrity wife beating featuring Ike & Tina and The Hoff.
Saturn's moon Enceladus shows signs of water. Knowing about IOL's previous treatment of scientific discovery this probably isn't even really news anymore, but I thought I'd mention it.
Women's right activists are using inflatable sex dolls in an effort to curb the objectification of women in the land of machismo.
Britons are offended by Australian Tourism's rude new catch phrase: "Where the bloody hell are you?". So much so in fact that they've banned the advert. God damn it people, they can show the ad in Salt Lake City and nobody minds much, grow a fucking sense of humor. Then again maybe all the people in Salt Lake City that would be offended have already shunned TV?
What do you think about this rather defensive statement from ex-head of Koeberg. Kinda interesting huh? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Austrians are special. That's my conclusion after they decided to grind up a chondite meteorite and sprinkle it on postage stamps. While this might seem like a cool idea can you guys think of any possible better way to spread an alien virus? I mean this is like a Sci-Fi that just writes itself.
In a close second to the Penis Story we have a Dildo Story. Denmark's national symbol, a statue of the little mermaid in Copenhagen, was defaced by having said sex toy attached to it. "March 8th", national women's day in Denmark, was also painted in the statue, but authorities doubt this was the work of feminists. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
And in a surprise return the is actually another Penis Story this week! A German burglar has managed to escape prison due to the fact that he has a permanent erection. Not even sticking needles in it helped, I'm sure a course of leeches would though.
THE PHARMACY MESS
It looks like esteemed health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang is trying to fuck pharmacists again. Damn pinko scum, have you ever heard of the free market? Here's an alternate solution for you, give poor people free medicine and let the rest of us decide what works best for us. I was really upset the first time this legislation was introduced because the pharmacy where I get my medicine from used to give huge discounts but were no longer allowed to under the new legislation. In an emergency if I couldn't make it out to the discount pharmacy I was more than happy to pay a premium to the local pharmacy just for convenience sake.
The health minister really doesn't have very much to worry about. Large corporation are going to put small pharmacies out of business by competing against them much quicker than she can. An example of this is the fact that Clicks plans on having a pharmacy in every store, it's not for the pharmacy cash, but rather as a means to get you into their shop and buy their items.
A free market and competition driving prices down. who would ever have thought?
AN UPDATE ON NEWS AND RANT
Well you've all watched CSI, NCIS, Crossing Jordan, Medical Detectives or some cloned variation of the aforementioned shows? Remember how those folks were able to comb a crime scene and uncover the minutest little fragment of fiber or hair that would lead to the apprehension and prosecution of evil lawbreakers? Didn't the fact that there were trained professionals working for the police help you sleep better at night? Well I don't want to shatter your illusions but these trained pro's took 27 hours to find a little girls body that was under the bed in the room that she was supposedly kidnapped from. This is because we are living in South Africa, where police rely on good luck and confessions to solve crimes, as opposed to actual investigative work.
National police commissioner Jackie Selebi has gone on record as stating that he has "never experienced such levels of incompetence before". He has promised that heads will roll.
Gauteng police commissioner Perumal Naidoo stated that there was nothing wrong, the police didn't miss anything, they conducted a thorough search of the premises and found the body. He didn't think that the fact that they only search one half of the house yesterday leaving the other half for today was an issue. Stupid, fucking, arse-covering moron. He deserves to be dragged out into the street and shot. What was the emotocon for rage? >:# (I'm going with this until further notice.
BURGER HEAVEN
Ok, so now to the part where I tell you folks about the three best burgers in Cape Town, or at least the three places to go for the best burgers in Cape Town. These are not your normal Steers or Spur burgers, let alone McDonald's. These burgers are works of art that are almost too perfect to consume, but too tempting not too.
Second Runner Up: Saul's Saloon, Main Road Seapoint.
Saul's makes an excellent burger. They're big, hearty and come with a metric fuckpile of chips. They have various options on the size of the burgers and even do chicken, but unfortunately their variations on the burger theme leave a little to be desired. I love Saul's, I have fond memories of dropping my brother off at school when he missed his bus and letting him skip a few extra periods with me while we stuffed ourselves with Saul's goodness. Another major advantage is that Saul's is open 24 hours a day, but the area leaves a little to be desired.
First Runner Up: The Starlight Diner, Tygervally (in the parking lot opposite the Velodrome)
The Starlight Diner, is a magical place that reminds you of 50's american culture. It;s a proper diner complete with booths and a bar counter, the waitron uniforms are pretty authentic too. As I've mentioned there are booths, these are roomy and comfortable, with ample space to stretch out and enjoy your evening. The menu at Starlight is bliss with many, many appealing dishes, but we're here to talk about burgers. The burgers are very good, very large, and very tasty. There are a bunch of varieties with amazing toppings that are out of this world. Starlight is also open 24 hours a day. This is also the place that comes closest to offering that elusive "five dollar shake" talked about at Jack Rabbit Slim's on Pulp Fiction. At current exchange rates it's only a $3.17 shake, but that' s because of a weak rand and not the poor quality of the shake. My personal favorite is the Oreo cookie shake, or the peanut butter shake. As Vincent Vega says, "that's a damn fine shake".
And the Winner is: Royale (Long Street, Cape Town)
This place is named as another reference to Pulp fiction (Royale with cheese). I've never actually been there so I can't comment on the place, but I've had Mr Delivery from them on numerous occasions. This place is undoubtedly the best burger joint in town, undoubtedly. Variety is unmatched. The burgers are the bozmb! My favorite burger here is "The Fat Bastards", a double burger with double everything. That's some yummy shit! Sadly Royale is not open 24hrs so you can't just pop down after partying all night when you need something hot and greasy in your stomach. If you do go however make sure to try their sweet potato chips, they're brilliant with sour cream.
If you folks do go out and try these burgers please let me know and give me some feedback on what you thought.
HOT SAUCE
THE END OF THE POST AS WE KNOW IT
Well, I didn't watch any movies last night, so you're shit outa luck there. Also I'm really tired and I've got some commitments that just can't wait. I feel that this has been a good post, I even worked in two totally natural quotes from Shakespeare, from the same play even, who says this blog isn't erudite (did I spell that right?). Until next time I leave you with this thought:
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~ Theodore Roosevelt
schpat out
4 comments:
When you said in the north, how far north did you mean? But I guess you know I already read your post.
i'm also left wondering about the northerliness.
and schpat - that's "did i spell that correctly?"... i see that being erudite doesn't imply being grammatically correct ;)
- the grammar nazi strikes again! -
Hey! I thought that was _my_ title? This calls for grammar-nazi wars.
By north I meant JHB & PTA
And I'm glad you guys all got the gramatical joke. I thougt it was funny using erudite and icorect grammar in the same sentance. Total Waste, you now owe me one of your salty liqorice's. I may not know how to spell but I knows my grammar good.
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