Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hump Day

Last night I bailed on role-playing. I feel really bad about it but because of my hectic work schedule I just needed some quiet time with Elisabeth. Reports are still out as to whether or not everybody else actually pitched for the game, my bet is that they didn't but if they did I feel worse. I took Elisabeth out to have supper at the Waterfront at a cool Portuguese restaurant called Tosca De Something. We each had the rump espetada, mmm yummy. After that we went to La Playa for coffee and got the worst service ever, not what I'm used to after last time my table was booked for me by name just because the waitress saw me coming (thanks Erica). Needless to say this one got no tip.

That brings me to an interesting question. If you get bad service does the waitron deserve a tip? I mean do you just give a small tip, or no tip at all. Also what if the service is excellent, do you tip more than the standard? What's the standard tip amount, and what's the standard service? Does a waitron deserve a tip just for pitching up and not being rude? Thoughts people, in the comments, thanks.

On another point of interactivity: don't all email me at once with your contest ideas! No seriously, send some ideas in already. Is the allure of a R100 gift certificate not strong enough to elicit a response from your competitive cortexes (or is that cortexi or collective cortexacopia)? C'mon people. For international readers I can also make it a gift certificate at any major online store, R100 is about $15).

In this issue: news, thoughts on chain letters, amusing pic and another movie I saw recently

IN THE NEWS

Now we're in real trouble. Alex Erwin has stated that there is no national energy crisis. Here's a quote from him: "It is important that we get some sanity back and do not get influenced by inaccurate reports." I wonder what inaccurate reports he's talking about? He also said he didn't want to get into a "semantic debate: over what he said about the sabotage. Hey, Alec, we're not arguing semantics, we're accusing you of lying to influence the outcome of local government elections, get it straight you lying halfwit!

A Greek Orthodox monk's body is apparently completely intact 15 years after his burial. For some reason the the Orthodox church is not wanting to proclaim the man a saint and are instead pursuing medical explanations for the occurrence. Maybe its got something to do with the fact that "Even the monk's soft parts are intact" according to Bishop Nikolaos of the Fthiotida prefecture.

Yesterday yellow snow in Korea and today red snow in Russia. I'm not promoting racial stereotypes here but it seems like they guy deciding on weather is from the cold war. (really bad unintentional pun)

So you want a billion dollars in green and folding? You want it to fit in your wallet? Well, this dude could make it happen for you. I just don't understand where he was going to spend a billion dollars. It's be like that running joke in Leisure Suit Larry II where nobody could give you change so they just kept the large denomination bills. Seriously, what moron would be fooled by a billion dollar note?

A young schoolgirl in the UK broke her ankle while playing with friends, after returning to school she was told to go home because her plaster cast was a health hazard. That's almost as bad as Baa Baa Rainbow sheep!

Speaking of banned, you've got to be pretty annoying to be banned from a whole city, but that's what this woman has achieved. Because of her antics around not paying for restaurant bills she has been banned from the city of Rome.

STUPID CHAIN LETTERS

Do you know what really pisses me off? Those stupid emails that have a list of funny things or coincidences that are so unbelievable that they are funny. Except that I think these things are so unbelievable that they're stupid. You know the ones, like the Darwin Awards and, the one I got today, the Stella Awards. The Stella Awards are supposedly handed out for frivolous litigation by people who were harmed by their own stupidity. Named after the women who successfully sued McDonalds for burning herself with their coffee, they supposedly include stories like

A guy who have sued a family for staving them after getting locked in the garage while they were away on holiday for eight days. How did he get there, he was trying to rob them. or

A dude who sued a dog owner after being bitten by his dog that was chained in his own yard. What had he been doing in the yard? Shooting the dog with a pellet gun.

These stories are so stupid that a simple search of Snopes or even Google will tell you that they are not real. People please check your facts before sending out stupid lists of things that are really funny, but obviously of dubious authenticity.

Things like this do happen in real life, they're just rarely as funny and almost never successful. As with the Darwin Awards, there is actually a site that is dedicated to real life Stella Awards go check it out if you're interested. My personal favorite is this one:

And the winner of the 2005 True Stella Award: Christopher Roller of Burnsville, Minn. Roller is mystified by professional magicians, so he sued David Blaine and David Copperfield to demand they reveal their secrets to him -- or else pay him 10 percent of their lifelong earnings, which he figures amounts to $50 million for Copperfield and $2 million for Blaine. The basis for his suit: Roller claims that the magicians defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using "godly powers" -- and since Roller is god (according to him), they're "somehow" stealing that power from him.

That's some funny shit. I actually hope this guy wins and they show him how they do their tricks. Of course I think he'll have to prove his godly powers first, that should be a hoot.

I've had to deal with so many urban legend emails over the years that all I do these days is "Reply to All" on the invariably infinite cc list and paste the Snopes page for the legend into the mail. Hopefully this embarrasses the perpetrator into either checking his sources next time or preferable not clogging my inbox with spam at all.

INTENTIONAL?


MOVIE I WATCHED RECENTLY

Superman II. This movie is proof of everything I hate about big budget special effects pieces that have no substance. Just like the first movie it was all an excuse for showing off a man in tights flying around and lifting heavy objects. The acting was atrocious and the story moved so quickly that there was no time for any meaningful character development, it just moved from once stunt to another. The slapstick bits in the middle of the main fight scene between Superman and General Zod and his minions were really awful. And don't even get me started on the "removing your powers is irreversible until you want them back" plot hole. Ultimately the movie was very successful in 1980, but because it relied so heavily on special effects for that success it is now extremely dated and, yes, crap. There are so many of these films coming out these days that it almost makes me want to puke, these are the boy bands of movies. Manufactured purely to be sold on hype and after they're watched by the masses and made the producers millions they get thrown on the pile like the fetid garbage that they are. You can read more about my feelings on cash cow movies from my previous post here. It did have Terance Stamp in it, which I'd forgotten.

That reminds me, I still want to popularise the word "brung".

SIGNING OFF

So anyway, nice to dump my mind at you folks again. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for another granadilla juice bottle story, and remember to submit contest suggestions (schpat at gmail dot com).

schpat out

3 comments:

Patrick Schreiber said...

I actually left a R2 tip in 50c pieces, elisabeth wouldn't let me leave the 5c's.

Tosca De Something with a 'B'. It's between Balthazar and The Greek Fisherman.

Have they got espetada at nando's now?

Synkronos said...

Yancke was playing truant as well, so don't feel too bad. Just, if you are gonna bail, please please let us know in advance.

Patrick Schreiber said...

Hey Synk,

I would have let people know if it was a planned thingy, unfortunatly these things happen.