Well, my long weekend was great! On friday night I had cooked a very nice supper, grilled salmon and roasted peppers stuffed with spiced rice, and watched a bunch more of LOST. On saturday I drove around and ran some errands, had lunch at the spur (where I get Vegas style treatment) and watched more LOST with Elisabeth. On sunday I played in a poker tournament in Milnerton, but more on that later. Monday was quite relaxed, rearranged my furniture to accommodate my new couch, did some general housework and watched more LOST. It was a good weekend.
Also I got the final submissions for the Bushisms contest, one lucky person will be walking away with a R100 gift certificate but you'll have to read until the end to find out how that's going to happen. Don't skip anything, I'll know!
THE POKER
Dude, absolutely fucking off the map hawsomeness. After a few problems with directions I met up with Roo and and we found the Italian "Club" where the day's festivities were due to get underway. Apparently we weren't the only people who had trouble with the directions because we started late to give people a change to find the place and there were quite a few no-shows leaving us with a starting field of 76. I was seated at table C with about four people I recognised from the last tournament one of which had actually been at my table of death and had to rebuy twice before only just outlasting me, and another who'd played in the satellite last week. Everybody was stopping by my table and greeting the people I didn't know and saying stuff like "ooh, though table" and "unlucky all you guys sitting together". I thought it was just the usual trash talk but I was wrong, as I was later to find out.
I played very tight, and very aggressively. I didn't win very many pots but those that I did win were big enough to keep me in the tournament. I was in the BB and was dealt AJc, there were a couple of limpers and I raised 3xBB and got only one caller, the guy who rebought twice in the last tournament. The flop was 963 with one club, he bet I called. The turn was a Q, he bet 1xBB and I called the very weak bet. The river was another low card, he checked and so did I because I thought he was trapping me. When he showed a set of 3's I knew I was right and that if I had bet he would have pushed me all in and I would have gone out right there. I thought I had lost it with my A high but somebody else at the table pointed out that I'd caught two clubs on the turn and river for a runner runner nut-flush. I was floored to have made such a stupid mistake. I could have trapped the trapper and won a huge pot, but I had lost concentration and because of that ended up not winning as much as I could have. It wasn't the worst mistake I could have made, but it's pretty unforgivable.
That was right before the first fifteen minute break, and as it turned out, the last break for the day. I berated myself for being so dumb, and chatted to Roo. Roo had also lasted to the first break but seriously only had enough chips for two BB left. I went back in with slightly above what I stated with but way below average because by this stage about half the field had gone out. That really surprised me because our table had only lost one player. The next break was scheduled for three hours time by we never got there because by then it was time for the final table, which I was on!
Leading up to this a few more people had gone out at my table, and a few had been moved to other tables to balance the numbers, but the core of players had stayed the same since the beginning. The last level before the final table was hectic. I was down to 1xBB in chips and managed to double up quite a few times so that when I got to the final table I was only the third smallest chip stack. Of my starting table no less than four of us had made it into the final, that's when I realised that it really was a scary table. I won a few hands and stole a couple of blinds but the levels were going up and I just couldn't keep up. Two of the final ten had gone out when I found myself on the BB with AQd two people had limped in and I pushed hoping for a miracle. One of the guys from my original table called what was a very small percentage of his stack with 88 and I didn't improve. I went out in 8th place with only 7 paying, I bubbled. I was pretty disappointed because at that stage I was only second shortest stack, I had about three times what the shortest did he ended up folding into 4th for R1750. At the time I thought I might be able to fold into the money, but if he won a hand I'd be screwed and I probably wasn't going to get a better hand than AQd, I'd do the same thing again. I was also disappointed that only 7 places paid because the advertised was 10 paying if there were 80 entrants, we were short four of that, or R1200 in entry fees. First place was supposed to pay R10k but only paid R7,2k I really don't understand how it worked, but I'm not going to make an issue of it the tournament directors were really nice guys and I trust that everything they did was on the up and up and that they didn't rip me off.
In the main game I only lost one had at a showdown, and I got through to the final table and placed 8th, and while disappointed that I didn't get any cash even though I'd gotten so close I'm just really happy to have gotten so far and played relatively well. If I'd gone out in say 25th place I'd be ecstatic, and not have as much disappointment, but I did better than that so I just gotta shake it off.
ITALIAN CLUB
After the main game we played another, with a smaller buy-in and fewer players. There was a time limit so we only started with 500 in chips and blinds went up every 15min. It was insane. This kind of speed play really doesn't suit me but I still managed to get through to the final table again going out in 8th, this time only three places paid so there's no feeling of disappointment.
The venue was brilliant, They had a cash bar and a restaurant with waiters milling around the poker tables taking orders. The coffee was brilliant, real Italian cappuccino rocked. During the second game I ordered a pizza, it was massive and used primo ingredients, one of which was real Italian salami, and it only cost R28!
Like I said the venue rocked, the fact that later on a few older guys in pinstripe suits arrived and went through a door marked "Private Card Room" or that Frank Sinatra was playing during the final table was just icing on the cake.
Another thing I have to mention is that the guys I played with were really nice. None of them were complete dicks like I experienced at the last tournament. I saw plenty of those dicks around but didn't play with them for long, when one of them arrived at the table we pretty much took them out quickly. The only reason I mention it is that I think that because we were playing at the Italian club people were a bit more respectful, capice?
THE CONTEST
Wow this is already a long post, and it's about to get longer. I had three serious entrants into the Bushism contest. Everybody made multiple submissions and because they're all really good I'm worried that the votes will be way too spread out to make any difference. For this reason I'm going to pos the complete list here and ask the three people who entered to choose their best two to compete with. Guys, suss out the competition and get back to me, via email to keep this anonymous.
Out of his Mouth: "I can look you in the eye and tell you I feel I've tried to solve the problem diplomatically to the max, and would have committed troops both in Afghanistan and Iraq knowing what I know today." — Irvine, Calif., April 24, 2006
In his Head: "diplomatically: the manner in which a person holding a diploma would act. - see degrematically"
Out of his Mouth: He Said: "If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!" —George W. Bush, Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000
In his Head: "If I keep talking in circles they will get dizzy and this wont need to make sense"
Out of his Mouth: "As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself — not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch." — After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006
In his Head: "they'd be even more impressed if they knew how much that stung! mommy had to kiss it better!"
Out of his Mouth: "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
In his Head: “I mean, look at mermaids…That’s proof right there.”
Out of his Mouth:"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005, on the reception of American forces in Iraq
In his Head: "but it SHOULD have been a peaceful welcome - don't these arabs watch fox news? EVERYBODY watches fox news!"
Out of his Mouth: "We are fully committed to working with both sides to bring the level of terror down to an acceptable level for both." —George W. Bush, after a meeting with congressional leaders, Washington, D.C., Oct. 2, 2001
In his Head: "My daddy always told me to aim for goals I can reach and not to seem too keen. Besides, if I say I will bring the level of terror down to zero they will all know i am lieing"
Out of his Mouth:"I mean, I read the newspaper. I mean, I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, I'll move on. But I know what the story's about." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "dammit! when are they gonna open up 'The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Would Like To Do Other Things Good too'?!"
Out of his Mouth: “I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go — you know — I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say." —George W. Bush, after being asked whether he's seen Brokeback Mountain, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006”
In his Head: “Oh Jesus! Why are they asking me this? Do they know about me and Donald Rumsfeld? Quick George, say something to throw them off the scent! Ranching! Yeah, that’s manly! Talk about ranching!”
Out of his Mouth: "I aim to be a competitive nation." — San Jose, Calif., April 21, 2006
In his Head: "i KNEW i could use the word competitive in a sentence!"
Out of his Mouth: “Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005
In his Head: “Idiot, he doesn’t even know where his own country is. That’s Australia! Brazil’s the little island next to that bit that looks like a boot.”
Out of his Mouth: "I strongly believe what we're doing is the right thing. If I didn't believe it — I'm going to repeat what I said before — I'd pull the troops out, nor if I believed we could win, I would pull the troops out." — Charlotte, N.C., April 6, 2006
In his Head: "okay, i need opposites here. think opposite! i can do this!"
Out of his Mouth: "You believe in the Almighty, and I believe in the Almighty. That's why we'll be great partners." —George W. Bush, to Turkish Prime Minister Recap Tayyip Erdogan, Washington, D.C. Dec. 10, 2002
In his Head: "You like ham burgers I like ham burgers...no no, thats not going to work, the ham thing. Um...You like beer , I like beer..oops, nope...um what else do I like , um dont think he knows the hungry caterpillar, um God yes God, but he doesnt call him God, something with an A..um..um o yes!..."
Out of his Mouth: "If the Iranians were to have a nuclear weapon they could proliferate." — Washington D.C., March 21, 2006
In his Head: "bastard speech writers! that's not a real word!... i wonder where irania is?"
Out of his Mouth: "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
In his Head: "Wouldnt it be fun if Saddam was president of the united states? Then people wouldnt be so quit to tell him that the death penalty is a bad idea would they no.. and all the terrorists would be dead already. Saddam would deffinately be anti terrorism if he was president of the united states!"
Out of his Mouth:"[I]t's a myth to think I don't know what's going on. It's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there's opinions that don't agree with mine, because I'm fully aware of that." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "if this is true, then i'm gonna have these people branded traitors and strung up, y'all."
Out of his Mouth: “The relations with, uhh — Europe are important relations, and they've, uhh — because, we do share values. And, they're universal values, they're not American values or, you know — European values, they're universal values. And those values — uhh — being universal, ought to be applied everywhere." —George W. Bush, at a press conference with European Union dignitaries, Washington, D.C., June 20, 2005
In his Head: “God, I hope this isn’t a trick question. Europe’s not one of those Arab countries, is it?”
Out of his Mouth: "I mean, there was a serious international effort to say to Saddam Hussein, you're a threat. And the 9/11 attacks extenuated that threat, as far as I—concerned." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "yeah, alright! how'd you four-eyed varmints like THAT?"
Out of his Mouth: "I think it's important to bring somebody from outside the system, the judicial system, somebody that hasn't been on the bench and, therefore, there's not a lot of opinions for people to look at." —George W. Bush, on the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Washington, D.C., October 4, 2005
In his Head: "If the judge looks stupider then I am I wont look so stupid because every one will think the judge is smart cause they are a judge and if they are smart I must be smarter, HAH!"
Out of his Mouth: "And Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." — To FEMA director Mike Brown who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his job performance.—Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
In his Head: "heh, brownie. what a swell guy - i love that guy!"
Out of his Mouth: “It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth." —George W. Bush, on an Amnesty International report on prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay, Washington, D.C., May 31, 2005”
In his Head: “I’m so going to fire this speech writer. He can’t even spell ‘disassemble’. I mean, ‘dissemble’, seriously, where did this guy to college?”
Out of his Mouth: "No question that the enemy has tried to spread sectarian violence. They use violence as a tool to do that." — Washington
In his Head: "imagine if i didn't have my degree! this stuff is just BRILLIANT! i just don't understand why my nobel nomination hasn't come up yet *sigh*"
Out of his Mouth: “Because he's hiding." —George W. Bush, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005”
In his Head: “And I haven’t finished counting to 100 yet anyway.”
Out of his Mouth: "And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company." — Defending a plan to allow a company from the United Arab Emirates to manage ports in the United States, aboard Air Force One, Feb. 21, 2006
In his Head: "what has everybody got against the middle east?? that's not where all the trouble-makers are! damn racists!"
Out of his Mouth: "And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company." —George W. Bush, defending a plan to allow a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates to manage ports in the United States, aboard Air Force One, Feb. 21, 2006
In his Head: "please no one step up and say 'because you said so' pleeease"
Out of his Mouth: "I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president." — Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 1, 2006
In his Head:
"when i was young" : thinking of himself, young, playing cowboys and indians with other little children
"when i was middle-age" : ditto
"before i was president" : thinking of himself playing cowboys and indians with the people working on his campaign - missing his friends from west-texas
"during president" : thinking of his wonderful friends going off to iraq to fight for him, and looking forward to playing cowboys and indians with them when they get back
"after president" : "hah! i'm gonna be president for life!"
Out of his Mouth: “Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
In his Head: “Do you want some?”
Out of his Mouth: "He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, you are a state sponsor of terror." — On Saddam Hussein, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006
"why do i keep having to repeat myself??"
Out of his Mouth: “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001
In his Head: “We’re gonna teach people to aim better.”
Out of his Mouth: "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law." —Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005
In his Head:
"i can't make it clearer than that - these rats WILL be brought to justice!"
or
"and i AM the law!"
Out of his Mouth: "Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."—Explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005
In his Head:
"...
did i leave the gas on?
..."
So guy's, a little bit of strategy before the game is finally over. As soon as all of you tell me your best two I'll open voting for a week and we'll see who wins. Good Luck.
THE REST
This post is already way too long for anything else, and I'm way too busy. See ya tomorrow.
schpat out
Also I got the final submissions for the Bushisms contest, one lucky person will be walking away with a R100 gift certificate but you'll have to read until the end to find out how that's going to happen. Don't skip anything, I'll know!
THE POKER
Dude, absolutely fucking off the map hawsomeness. After a few problems with directions I met up with Roo and and we found the Italian "Club" where the day's festivities were due to get underway. Apparently we weren't the only people who had trouble with the directions because we started late to give people a change to find the place and there were quite a few no-shows leaving us with a starting field of 76. I was seated at table C with about four people I recognised from the last tournament one of which had actually been at my table of death and had to rebuy twice before only just outlasting me, and another who'd played in the satellite last week. Everybody was stopping by my table and greeting the people I didn't know and saying stuff like "ooh, though table" and "unlucky all you guys sitting together". I thought it was just the usual trash talk but I was wrong, as I was later to find out.
I played very tight, and very aggressively. I didn't win very many pots but those that I did win were big enough to keep me in the tournament. I was in the BB and was dealt AJc, there were a couple of limpers and I raised 3xBB and got only one caller, the guy who rebought twice in the last tournament. The flop was 963 with one club, he bet I called. The turn was a Q, he bet 1xBB and I called the very weak bet. The river was another low card, he checked and so did I because I thought he was trapping me. When he showed a set of 3's I knew I was right and that if I had bet he would have pushed me all in and I would have gone out right there. I thought I had lost it with my A high but somebody else at the table pointed out that I'd caught two clubs on the turn and river for a runner runner nut-flush. I was floored to have made such a stupid mistake. I could have trapped the trapper and won a huge pot, but I had lost concentration and because of that ended up not winning as much as I could have. It wasn't the worst mistake I could have made, but it's pretty unforgivable.
That was right before the first fifteen minute break, and as it turned out, the last break for the day. I berated myself for being so dumb, and chatted to Roo. Roo had also lasted to the first break but seriously only had enough chips for two BB left. I went back in with slightly above what I stated with but way below average because by this stage about half the field had gone out. That really surprised me because our table had only lost one player. The next break was scheduled for three hours time by we never got there because by then it was time for the final table, which I was on!
Leading up to this a few more people had gone out at my table, and a few had been moved to other tables to balance the numbers, but the core of players had stayed the same since the beginning. The last level before the final table was hectic. I was down to 1xBB in chips and managed to double up quite a few times so that when I got to the final table I was only the third smallest chip stack. Of my starting table no less than four of us had made it into the final, that's when I realised that it really was a scary table. I won a few hands and stole a couple of blinds but the levels were going up and I just couldn't keep up. Two of the final ten had gone out when I found myself on the BB with AQd two people had limped in and I pushed hoping for a miracle. One of the guys from my original table called what was a very small percentage of his stack with 88 and I didn't improve. I went out in 8th place with only 7 paying, I bubbled. I was pretty disappointed because at that stage I was only second shortest stack, I had about three times what the shortest did he ended up folding into 4th for R1750. At the time I thought I might be able to fold into the money, but if he won a hand I'd be screwed and I probably wasn't going to get a better hand than AQd, I'd do the same thing again. I was also disappointed that only 7 places paid because the advertised was 10 paying if there were 80 entrants, we were short four of that, or R1200 in entry fees. First place was supposed to pay R10k but only paid R7,2k I really don't understand how it worked, but I'm not going to make an issue of it the tournament directors were really nice guys and I trust that everything they did was on the up and up and that they didn't rip me off.
In the main game I only lost one had at a showdown, and I got through to the final table and placed 8th, and while disappointed that I didn't get any cash even though I'd gotten so close I'm just really happy to have gotten so far and played relatively well. If I'd gone out in say 25th place I'd be ecstatic, and not have as much disappointment, but I did better than that so I just gotta shake it off.
ITALIAN CLUB
After the main game we played another, with a smaller buy-in and fewer players. There was a time limit so we only started with 500 in chips and blinds went up every 15min. It was insane. This kind of speed play really doesn't suit me but I still managed to get through to the final table again going out in 8th, this time only three places paid so there's no feeling of disappointment.
The venue was brilliant, They had a cash bar and a restaurant with waiters milling around the poker tables taking orders. The coffee was brilliant, real Italian cappuccino rocked. During the second game I ordered a pizza, it was massive and used primo ingredients, one of which was real Italian salami, and it only cost R28!
Like I said the venue rocked, the fact that later on a few older guys in pinstripe suits arrived and went through a door marked "Private Card Room" or that Frank Sinatra was playing during the final table was just icing on the cake.
Another thing I have to mention is that the guys I played with were really nice. None of them were complete dicks like I experienced at the last tournament. I saw plenty of those dicks around but didn't play with them for long, when one of them arrived at the table we pretty much took them out quickly. The only reason I mention it is that I think that because we were playing at the Italian club people were a bit more respectful, capice?
THE CONTEST
Wow this is already a long post, and it's about to get longer. I had three serious entrants into the Bushism contest. Everybody made multiple submissions and because they're all really good I'm worried that the votes will be way too spread out to make any difference. For this reason I'm going to pos the complete list here and ask the three people who entered to choose their best two to compete with. Guys, suss out the competition and get back to me, via email to keep this anonymous.
Out of his Mouth: "I can look you in the eye and tell you I feel I've tried to solve the problem diplomatically to the max, and would have committed troops both in Afghanistan and Iraq knowing what I know today." — Irvine, Calif., April 24, 2006
In his Head: "diplomatically: the manner in which a person holding a diploma would act. - see degrematically"
Out of his Mouth: He Said: "If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!" —George W. Bush, Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000
In his Head: "If I keep talking in circles they will get dizzy and this wont need to make sense"
Out of his Mouth: "As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself — not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch." — After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006
In his Head: "they'd be even more impressed if they knew how much that stung! mommy had to kiss it better!"
Out of his Mouth: "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
In his Head: “I mean, look at mermaids…That’s proof right there.”
Out of his Mouth:"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005, on the reception of American forces in Iraq
In his Head: "but it SHOULD have been a peaceful welcome - don't these arabs watch fox news? EVERYBODY watches fox news!"
Out of his Mouth: "We are fully committed to working with both sides to bring the level of terror down to an acceptable level for both." —George W. Bush, after a meeting with congressional leaders, Washington, D.C., Oct. 2, 2001
In his Head: "My daddy always told me to aim for goals I can reach and not to seem too keen. Besides, if I say I will bring the level of terror down to zero they will all know i am lieing"
Out of his Mouth:"I mean, I read the newspaper. I mean, I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, I'll move on. But I know what the story's about." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "dammit! when are they gonna open up 'The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Would Like To Do Other Things Good too'?!"
Out of his Mouth: “I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go — you know — I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say." —George W. Bush, after being asked whether he's seen Brokeback Mountain, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006”
In his Head: “Oh Jesus! Why are they asking me this? Do they know about me and Donald Rumsfeld? Quick George, say something to throw them off the scent! Ranching! Yeah, that’s manly! Talk about ranching!”
Out of his Mouth: "I aim to be a competitive nation." — San Jose, Calif., April 21, 2006
In his Head: "i KNEW i could use the word competitive in a sentence!"
Out of his Mouth: “Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005
In his Head: “Idiot, he doesn’t even know where his own country is. That’s Australia! Brazil’s the little island next to that bit that looks like a boot.”
Out of his Mouth: "I strongly believe what we're doing is the right thing. If I didn't believe it — I'm going to repeat what I said before — I'd pull the troops out, nor if I believed we could win, I would pull the troops out." — Charlotte, N.C., April 6, 2006
In his Head: "okay, i need opposites here. think opposite! i can do this!"
Out of his Mouth: "You believe in the Almighty, and I believe in the Almighty. That's why we'll be great partners." —George W. Bush, to Turkish Prime Minister Recap Tayyip Erdogan, Washington, D.C. Dec. 10, 2002
In his Head: "You like ham burgers I like ham burgers...no no, thats not going to work, the ham thing. Um...You like beer , I like beer..oops, nope...um what else do I like , um dont think he knows the hungry caterpillar, um God yes God, but he doesnt call him God, something with an A..um..um o yes!..."
Out of his Mouth: "If the Iranians were to have a nuclear weapon they could proliferate." — Washington D.C., March 21, 2006
In his Head: "bastard speech writers! that's not a real word!... i wonder where irania is?"
Out of his Mouth: "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
In his Head: "Wouldnt it be fun if Saddam was president of the united states? Then people wouldnt be so quit to tell him that the death penalty is a bad idea would they no.. and all the terrorists would be dead already. Saddam would deffinately be anti terrorism if he was president of the united states!"
Out of his Mouth:"[I]t's a myth to think I don't know what's going on. It's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there's opinions that don't agree with mine, because I'm fully aware of that." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "if this is true, then i'm gonna have these people branded traitors and strung up, y'all."
Out of his Mouth: “The relations with, uhh — Europe are important relations, and they've, uhh — because, we do share values. And, they're universal values, they're not American values or, you know — European values, they're universal values. And those values — uhh — being universal, ought to be applied everywhere." —George W. Bush, at a press conference with European Union dignitaries, Washington, D.C., June 20, 2005
In his Head: “God, I hope this isn’t a trick question. Europe’s not one of those Arab countries, is it?”
Out of his Mouth: "I mean, there was a serious international effort to say to Saddam Hussein, you're a threat. And the 9/11 attacks extenuated that threat, as far as I—concerned." — Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005
In his Head: "yeah, alright! how'd you four-eyed varmints like THAT?"
Out of his Mouth: "I think it's important to bring somebody from outside the system, the judicial system, somebody that hasn't been on the bench and, therefore, there's not a lot of opinions for people to look at." —George W. Bush, on the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Washington, D.C., October 4, 2005
In his Head: "If the judge looks stupider then I am I wont look so stupid because every one will think the judge is smart cause they are a judge and if they are smart I must be smarter, HAH!"
Out of his Mouth: "And Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." — To FEMA director Mike Brown who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his job performance.—Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
In his Head: "heh, brownie. what a swell guy - i love that guy!"
Out of his Mouth: “It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth." —George W. Bush, on an Amnesty International report on prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay, Washington, D.C., May 31, 2005”
In his Head: “I’m so going to fire this speech writer. He can’t even spell ‘disassemble’. I mean, ‘dissemble’, seriously, where did this guy to college?”
Out of his Mouth: "No question that the enemy has tried to spread sectarian violence. They use violence as a tool to do that." — Washington
In his Head: "imagine if i didn't have my degree! this stuff is just BRILLIANT! i just don't understand why my nobel nomination hasn't come up yet *sigh*"
Out of his Mouth: “Because he's hiding." —George W. Bush, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005”
In his Head: “And I haven’t finished counting to 100 yet anyway.”
Out of his Mouth: "And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company." — Defending a plan to allow a company from the United Arab Emirates to manage ports in the United States, aboard Air Force One, Feb. 21, 2006
In his Head: "what has everybody got against the middle east?? that's not where all the trouble-makers are! damn racists!"
Out of his Mouth: "And I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company." —George W. Bush, defending a plan to allow a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates to manage ports in the United States, aboard Air Force One, Feb. 21, 2006
In his Head: "please no one step up and say 'because you said so' pleeease"
Out of his Mouth: "I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president." — Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 1, 2006
In his Head:
"when i was young" : thinking of himself, young, playing cowboys and indians with other little children
"when i was middle-age" : ditto
"before i was president" : thinking of himself playing cowboys and indians with the people working on his campaign - missing his friends from west-texas
"during president" : thinking of his wonderful friends going off to iraq to fight for him, and looking forward to playing cowboys and indians with them when they get back
"after president" : "hah! i'm gonna be president for life!"
Out of his Mouth: “Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
In his Head: “Do you want some?”
Out of his Mouth: "He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, you are a state sponsor of terror." — On Saddam Hussein, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006
"why do i keep having to repeat myself??"
Out of his Mouth: “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001
In his Head: “We’re gonna teach people to aim better.”
Out of his Mouth: "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law." —Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005
In his Head:
"i can't make it clearer than that - these rats WILL be brought to justice!"
or
"and i AM the law!"
Out of his Mouth: "Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."—Explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005
In his Head:
"...
did i leave the gas on?
..."
So guy's, a little bit of strategy before the game is finally over. As soon as all of you tell me your best two I'll open voting for a week and we'll see who wins. Good Luck.
THE REST
This post is already way too long for anything else, and I'm way too busy. See ya tomorrow.
schpat out
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