Schpat: Youth Councilor

Well, I had a pretty cool weekend, I had my new camera and I played around with that a lot. What I've realised is that I need so much more stuff, bigger memory cards, bigger lenses, bigger monitor and more memory for my pc. Who says size doesn't count?

Had a disappointing friday evening because I found out that the stupid people at Benkei are dumbasses of the highest order. They said that all you can eat was on saturday night (i've got it written down here at work by the way) and the on friday when I phone for a booking they tell my, no it's on friday nights. Anyway, all I can eat raw fish with rice has been postponed until next month.

ok so the link to Arends Hoogte was broken. I'm sure you guys can figure it out, it's not higher grade or anything.

looter guy:



Warning 1: really long post from here, I won't get upset if you don't read it. Further reading is optional.

Warning 2: Hidden within the following (long) text is insight from schpat.

This morning on my way to work I got the elevators in my block and noticed a young kid (turns out he was 14) standing in the stairwell. Now because I recognise him (vaguely seen him around the block) and he doesn't look at all happy I ask: "hey how are you doing?" He says "not that good" and the whole thing starts there. Turns out he had a fight with his mom and after his mom dropped him at school that she has dropped him at school he has gotten the keys to his friends flat and is hiding out there for the day. I go: oh shit, i'm not really the guy to handle this but decide that since no one else is there I have to step up.

Any way so I let the guy into his friends flat and sit down and have a chat. At this point he has said he had had a "physical" fight with his mom and he is quite obviously very upset. Anyway I couldn't just leave him there I had to do something. So I try to find out more about the whole situation. His dad is in prison, his step dad works on oil rigs or something and is only home four months of the year and his mother is picking on him. It turns out that he has fought with his mom before and he ran away from home, but that was a year before. So no real pattern of abuse there. So I try to find out what he and his mom were fighting about. Apparently it was all because she was being unreasonable and asking him to do a lot of stuff around the house but never asking his sister (who by the way is 10). Ahh memories flood back, and I realise I really don't wish I was a kid again.

I decide to kinda gain his trust, and see if I can find out more about his relationship with his mom. I chat to him about school, what subjects he's taking, what he's doing in them and what sport's he plays. I also talk about his hobbies. Ends up he loves computers and spends a bunch of time in Java internet Cafe. He asks me what I'm into and I tell him that if he knows Java he probably knows about Wizards and that's what I'm into. Turns out he's also into that kind of stuff. He has a Warhammer army, plays magic and Yu-gi-oh and knows my brother. I go hmm, his folks seem to look after him pretty well. Also turns out he like golf, has his own set of clubs and plays Ice-Hockey.

At this point I'm going: Your parents obviously look after you pretty well, kid. It doesn't sound like you are beaten or abused and I have no problem delivering you back to your mother. I tell the kid as much but wording it better of course. The kid is not keen on this idea, he just wants to stay at his friend’s house today and play PS2 and relax.

I tell him we should call his friends mom then and let her know he was there. He's not keen on this, his friend is not really allowed to have people over during the week and he doesn't want him to get into trouble. So I go, ok let's take you to school, I'm sure the Guidance Counsellor will be able to help you out. He says he's spoke to the Guidance Counsellor before, but she doesn't really care, also the Counsellor can only see people after school so he would have to go to class and the reason he didn't go to school is that he's been crying and doesn't want anyone to see. This bit really tears me apart, I feel for this kid.

The kid tells me that I must be late for work and that I should just leave and forget about him, he'll be fine! I tell him that I can't do that and we have a (pretty one sided) conversation about responsibility. I explain that it sounds like his mother loves him but that she is frustrated. I also explain that his mother probably doesn't like the situation either and probably feels just as helpless. I explain that being an adult means that I have a responsibility to make sure that he is ok and I can't leave him at his friend’s place for the day.

Eventually I get him to call his grandmother, at first he can't remember her number but then after some convincing he got it. I talk to his gran, he talks to his gran and then I talk to his gran again. We decide that I should bring him over. The kid finds out that his grandad is home and now he knows he is probably in a lot of trouble. He now knows that his mom is going to find out and he is scared. He pleads with me to leave him where he is. When I explain that I can't he tells me he wants to run away, he says he has money. I try to convince him that that's the best option and that his mom might be angry but that's what she is supposed to do, it's only because she's trying to look after him. He's not happy.

I end up assuming a mild-stern voice and "telling" him that what was going to happen was I was going downstairs to my car, driving to Mcdonnalds to get a shake, and then taking him to his grandmothers, oh and by the way would he like a shake too. Answer: yes! Look at the silly monkey, if Chewbacca does not make sense you must acquit!

I dropped him off and spoke to his gran and everything seems to be alright, I'll find out from him next time I see him.

That was a draining morning, I got to work 3 hours late! What's more it's a classic cry for help. This poor kid who doesn't really have a father and his single mom is too busy with the 8 month old baby to spend much time with him is feeling unloved and abandoned. His reaction is extremely childish, which is not surprising seeing as he is a child, but is altogether his parents fault. He seems to be doing well at school and but is causing problems in class because he is ahead of the rest of the class, that's why he is on trouble at school a lot, he is a cleaver sensitive kid who is having these issues because his parents don't pay him enough attention. And people look at me funny when I say I'm not having kids! This is exactly why.

ok I've ranted enough, get back to work

schpat