Oh My Fuck

This is unbelievable, actually it's not really.

The following are extracts from two IOL articles:

In dramatic action on Wednesday, more than 400 protesting metro cops blocked the M2 highway that rings the city, bringing thousands of peak-hour motorists to a standstill

Shooting erupted when SA police in riot gear arrived with metro police (JMPD) using live ammunition and police firing rubber bullets.

On Wednesday, motorists watched in amazement as, around them on the M2 motorway, police took on police, trapping civilians in the crossfire.

The gunfight came after hundreds of protesting metro police blocked both lanes of the M2 highway going east and west.

But it all turned ominous when the SAPS arrived. They brandished shotguns and wore body armour. Some were clearly game for a scrap.

They were taken aback when they noticed the metro cops were armed and loaded.

"We've also got guns," was the chant, which didn't sound good.

Just after 6pm, SAPS officers clad in riot geared moved in and tried to get the JMPD officers to disperse. They refused and forced the two dozen or so police officers to move back.

Minutes later, a Nyala rolled towards the chanting protesters. A policeman popped his head out of the vehicle and threw a stun grenade. Police then opened fired, using rubber bullets.

Scores of metro cops drew their service weapons and shot back while they fled. As stunned motorists hit the ground, some rolling under their stranded vehicles, the shooting continued, with SA police driving back JMPD officers.

On Wednesday night SA Municipal Workers' Union organiser Vincent Vena, speaking from metro headquarters in Loveday Street, said there would be no metro police on duty on Thursday.

"Obviously it (the stayaway) will hit the public hard, which is not our aim," Vena said. "Nobody will die on the roads if the traffic officers are not there."

Asked what effect this would have on crime fighting, he said: "Whether we are on the streets or not, it won't deter criminals from their wrongdoings."

You can read the full articles here and here


All I have to say is WTF? Protect and Serve?

What was, is, and might have been

A few days short of a year ago I was getting ready to play in Africa's biggest poker tournament, I was going to be there because of a mistake.

You see I'd been told that there were plenty of people interested in going through to the AAPT that would gladly jump at the chance to win a seat for a considerably smaller sum than the actual buy-in (in poker we call this a satellite). Now because seating for this event was strictly limited and in very high demand I ponied up the R20k upfront about three months before the time.

Then when I tried organising the event no one was interested. It totally sucked, here I was with 20k that I'd invested looking to turn a small profit and it looked like I was going to be out of pocket. To add to my misery demand for the seats was at an all time low with the organisers still sitting on more than a few and no waiting list to gobble up my unwanted ticket.

20K was a lot of cash for me back then and it still is now. For nine rather interesting and highly unusual months over the past year 20k didn't mean very much to me, but that's a story for another post.

So what to do? Well I thought I could sell the seat if I offered it at a heavy discount. I contacted a few people in the poker community but either they were waiting to see if they would win an online Sat or they were waiting to see how low my price would eventually drop.

However, during that period I played some spectacular poker and cashed in every single live tournament I played. I was on fire and hitting it like a mofo. I made enough cash to cover the cost of the seat and, in moment of ecstatic hubris, decided that I was well capable of playing with the big boys. I took the plunge and set in motion event that would change my life.

The full extent of said change is still to be determined, but I live in hope.

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Why am I reminiscing about this now? Well I about to play live poker again, something which hasn't happened in more than three months. It's a ten player R150 buy-in single table tournament, far cry from the 120 players with more than R4m in prizes. Baby steps.

Well Done Ryan

I loved "Jaggered Little Pill" when it was first realeased. Alanis rocked, hard. Here was a chick with great talent who took shit from nobody. The tone of the album was angsty and very, very angry. Alanis became a sensation and an instant star.

Then it all went to shit, big time.

Obviously fame brought cash, friends and love to Alanis because all the rest of her music has been crap about going to fucking India and loving your brother. Watery whimisical shit. I commented to people all the time that what she really needed was a good disapointment and some real anger to reproduce her earlier greatness. Well thanks to Ryan Reynolds this is now a possibility.

Not only is Ryan a great comedic actor but apparently he is responsible for putting pain and suffering back into Alanis' life. Thanks Dude!

I don't know if it's going to be enough to pull Alanis out of the pit of soppy goo her music has becom, it might be too little to late. But I'm willing to give it a go,

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is this Sunday and it's going to be pretty hard to beat last year's gift, a large black dustbin for my mom's kitchen.

So I've decided not to give a gift this year and rather cook a three course meal for my family. This is the menu that I have planned.

Starter

Welsh Rarebit on Home Made Bread

Main Course

Toad in the Hole

Pea Fritters

Butternut Batons

Desert

Queen of Puddings

As you will no doubt notice I've gone with a traditional British theme. While I've done variations on all of the above I've never actually cooked any of it before, with the exception of the batons. I'm really looking forward the Queen of Puddings. It's a crème-moulée based base with a fruit compote layer topped is soft meringue, mmm yummy!
Wish me luck.

Entertainment Non-Existant

If you're like me then you've been waiting for shows like Prison Break, Lost or Heroes to continue after the impact of the WGA strike. And you're also quite upset about the cancellation of a couple of shows because of it.

Well when those episodes do finally become available you'd probably better savour them. Currently the Screen Actors Guild is in negotiations with major studios, and they've just been broken-off.

So who know what the next batch of mind numbing reality tv is going to be.

The Internet's Funniest Streamed Movies

Last night I watched one of the poorest shows ever screened on South African television, and I'm including Madam and Eve and Vetkoekpaleis in that list.

The show in question was "Clipz" screened at prime time on M-Net last night. It consists of short clips downloaded from the internet and presented by a host in much the same way as "America's Funniest Hove Videos". Except that instead of Bob Saget, who could sometimes pull off an amusing one-liner, you get a local comedian blandly telling you what's up next, and instead of a live studio audience (in an actual studio) you get a blue-screen virtual studio with crappy graphics.

Advertised as this weeks funniest clips from cyberspace, I'd seen at least a quarter of the clips before and some of them as long as five years ago. And funniest? Admittedly at least half the clips were really amusing and I understand that not everyone has the same sense of humour, but I defy anybody to pronounce that a montage of giggling babies is the height of human hilarity! Seriously, wtf?

The quality of the clips was understandably crap, there was even a warning from the host to this effect. There was also at least five minutes of shameless plugging for M-Net's own "web portal" where you can get short films and funny bloopers from local shows. They showed half of a ultra-short film and one of the aforementioned bloopers. The blooper was of some actor unable to deliver his lines due to fits of suppressed giggles, if that was an example of the funniest blooper on the site I'm glad I took no notice of the URL.

Is this what it has come down to? I mean I totally understand that with the costs of bandwidth in this country most people don't have access to these clips but this is just the height of laziness in television production. This is the kind of programming I expect from e-tv, in fact if this were an e-tv production I'd think it was a great idea for the free-to-air broadcaster. But getting it from M-Net is actually insulting. People from around the country are paying a substantial sum in subscription fees and M-Net is offering this in return?

In general I do enjoy the service provided by my multichoice subscription, otherwise I'd just cancel it, but until there is some serious competition this is unfortunately the kind of bullshit I'm just going to have to put up with.

Divine Right to Rule

Well it seems that Jacob Zuma, as president of the ANC, belives in that organisation's Divine Right to rule South Africa.

Speaking in Khayelitsha on Sunday Zuma was quoted as saying:

"Even God expects us to rule this country because we are the only organisation which was blessed by pastors when it was formed. It is even blessed in Heaven. That is why we will rule until Jesus comes back. We should not allow anyone to govern our city (Cape Town) when we are ruling the country,"

Wow, if that doesn't scream megalomania I don't know what does.

It makes me wonder what is really going on here, is JZ simply trying to recruit support from the masses by outright lying or does he actually believe this shit.

What is really scary is that apparently the general population belives it. Good luck to us all!

Now for a display of how politics really should work read this article.