Man, I love stupid criminals

There's a story on IOL today that I found funny but really sad.

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=qw11598609609
65B265

(I'm not sure the link will work because I'm sending this in via email)

Four armed men attempted to hi-jack someone on Sunday, but the dude got
out of his car, pushed them away and stole their getaway vehicle and
drove it to the nearest police station. One of the hijackers then went
into the police station to report his car stolen when a woman who was
there to report that she had been raped recognised him as her assailant.
That's karma!

But what's actually really sad is that a hardened criminal feels
comfortable enough to walk into a police station to report a failed
crime. It's also really sad that so many woman are raped in South
Africa every day that this unlikely coincidence was likely simply a
statistical probability. Man, the more I think about it the more this
country sucks. You hear stupid criminal stories all the time, but
mostly they deal with petty thefts and other misdemeanors, but here in
South Africa we apparently do everything better.

Oh, btw, they caught all the hijackers. Sterling police work there. As
long as all criminals walk into the cop shop while their accusers are
standing right there the crime problem could be over in a couple of
months.

In other news

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=139&art_id=vn2006100213
4257666C429293

(again, not sure if you'll get the link)

The "Homeless World Cup" was held at Grand Parade here in Cape Town over
the course of last week. The irony was that homeless people in the city
couldn't afford the tickets to enter the grandstand. However, that
didn't stop them from thronging to the city centre to generally hang
around and make a nuisance of themselves. Over the last week I've seen
some truly amazing specimens of crazy and drunk, sometimes both at the
same time.

I have absolutely no problem with homeless people. I can understand
that they've found themselves in an incredibly bad situation with very
few options. In a lot of cases disability or mental illness plays a big
part those situations and limits the options even more, but there are
always options.

There's one guy who stands at the robots going out of pinelands in the
mornings collecting rubbish from people's cars for their spare change.
When I first saw this idea about 3 years ago I thought it was absolutely
brilliant, inspired in fact, and used the service as often as possible.
Since then every beggar at a robot has a bag, as if to say "I'm not
lazy, I'm here working". This guy in Pinelands is different, he really
takes his "job" seriously and acts in a professional manner. He's even
started an added value service telling me about the road worthiness of
my car, "that tire's a little flat sir" or "your back indicator isn't
working". I really hope he does well. I'm stoked every time I see him
just because he's trying to do something.

There's this other homeless dude that I see quite a lot around work.
He's always around, sometimes sitting in the sun, sometime sheltering
from the rain and sometimes digging in the trash for food, but he's
always smiling and never asks anybody for anything. That's a big deal
to me. He probably sleeps at a shelter and spends his day's doing what
little he can to make his life bearable, he seems to be making the best
of his situation. Sure he's not actively trying to improve himself but
he isn't asking for a handout either, he's found a zen state that works
for him, and I totally respect that. I've got this agreement with
myself that whenever I win big at poker I give some money to somebody
less fortunate, I figure that I've gotten lucky and somebody else
deserves to share in my luck. This guy is my dude of choice, it may
take a couple of until I see him again, but when I do I give him some
cash. The first time he was a bit apprehensive and when I told him to
get some food he asked if he could buy some clothes instead. The
important thing here is that even though I've given him substantial
amounts of cash, substantial to him anyway, on a number of occasions,
he's never every even approached me, not even for a cigarette.

Another homeless person I should mention is John "The Bergie". I first
met John outside Tokai library when I was still in varsity. He was
selling a "newspaper", hand written and photocopied, outlining his views
of current events that were important in his life. He had such an
awesome sales pitch that I just had to buy one. I've since seen him all
over Cape Town with his duffle bag and "newspaper" in hand. He landed a
Job with FHM magazine as a product reviewer in a column called "Ask a
Bergie". Last time I saw him he was proudly telling me how he gets keep
all the stuff he reviews. I also bought a copy of his "newspaper", a
bumper 16 pages with covers hand coloured in crayon. His email address
and website were listed under editor.

I suppose my message is "Don't be a victim". These three guys are
making the best of their bad situation, not simply relying on others for
a hand out, and getting really upset and aggressive when you refuse to
give them something for doing absolutely nothing.

Speaking of aggressive beggars. Last week while I was having a smoke
break outside I was handed a flyer about the new nuisance laws that the
city is trying to pass. It showed photographs of the various offences
and listed the applicable fines. Examples are: Hanging clothing to dry
on a public fence - R40; Touching other peoples property without
permission - R400; Roadside vehicle repair (other than emergency repair
- R400; Selling goods in public without a license - R100; the list goes
on. I was really impressed that the city was making people aware of the
new law, until I actually read the flyer. It as in fact from a bunch of
bleeding heart organisations that felt that the rules were unjust and
infringed on the rights of the poor. These guys seem to think that it's
fine for folks to hang washing on fences and touch your property without
permission. They were actually wanting people to contact their
councilor and get them to scrap the bill. What fucktards. Yes people
have rights, and those rights are the ones being protected by the law.
I don't want people touching my shit because they just want to, I don't
want some dude fixing cars on the side of the road and taking business
away from my dad who is a legitimate tax payer and I especially don't
want beggars harassing my wife and becoming violent because she refuses
to give them money for doing nothing. Pass the god damned law already!

On the lighter side

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=29&art_id=qw1159797781160B214&se
t_id=1

(again don't know about link)

A woman's silicone implants saved her life when they acted as airbags in
a car accident. Funny stuff huh?

Am I blogging again? Maybe.