Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just a quick note

Work has been really busy but still I strive to bring you items of interest.

Plosiguant raises an interesting question about the safety of the penis flytrap. That is one twisted mind!

ICASA has announced that the SNO should be licenced by the end of the year. This is good news for consumers, Analysts predict that they will begin operating in March 2006.

If you want a laugh check out this site. It's all about real life US patents that are really dumb. This one in particular, learn to shake damn it!

The space key on by brand new keyboard has started to squeak! This is most irritating!

Monday, November 28, 2005

What a weekend

IT ALL STARTRED

It all started on Frinight (see previous blogpost for details) when yet another power failure in the western cape urged me to make plans to braai with my folks. My mom had just gotten herself two new cats, a pair of two year old gingers (brother and sister). I grew up with cats and we've always had between one and three of them at any given time, but Over a period of eighteen months all of my moms cats died of old age and she's been with out kitty companionship for about six months now. She's actually been quite depressed. The new cats are very cool and affectionate, my mom is happy. So I played with them and took some pictures before an attempt was made to overfeed me on Rump steak and various salads, my parents went totally overboard for an impromptu braai. Elisabeth and I only got to bed at 1am, we finally left when my dad was falling asleep in the middle of conversations. This made me think how, just like my mom's cats, my parents are getting old.

On saturday I ran some errands for my dad and bought a new pool cue. The salesman told me some cockamamie story about resizing the tip with sand paper that basically wasted 45 minutes of moonflake, zenstar and my lives. Saturnight (are you paying attention here?) was Dystopia's birthday thingy. We had planned to go to the One Ring and play pool and muck about, but the place was closed until about 22:30 even though there were people inside, and the bouncer apparently was being a bit of a dick. Antonio really needs to sort that shit out man. We ended up at Stones (previously the much cooler Rolling Stones) where I sucked at pool but kicked ass at Foosball. Man Dystopia and I are so gonna win us the drunken foosball tournament at SchpatCON. Phillip's band was playing at Cool Runnings, but lacking the energy and the warmth we ended up not going. By the time we left it was way later than I thought it was, I joined moonie and zen for some coffee and e-tv porn before going home to sleep.

Sunday was uneventful, I took Elisabeth out for breakfast at the Blue Route and spoke with Nick about stuff. I was really nice to see him again and I gave him this blog address so that he could link to everyone else's. Hi Nick! Leave a comment.

Sunnight (you were expecting that weren't you?) I watched Tome Raider for the first time and it was so shockingly bad. The dialog and general concept was good, at was AJ's accent, but that's where it ended. Seriously so much more could have been done, I'm not going to get into it here except to say that I wasn't expecting much and I was very disappointed. Then I couldn't sleep for like many hours and suddenly woke up tired and late. But all things considered it was a great weekend.

THE MOST EXPENSIVE PICTURE EVER



That might be an overstatement, but it certainly cost me a metric fuckpile. In case you can't really make it out that's a picture of me driving Elisabeth's car through a speed trap near George at 100kph where the speed limit is 60kph. Total cost: R800. Ouch! Now I know that there are no discernable details of the driver or passenger so I could probably argue the case, but I know I was wrong here and so I'll probably just pay the fine. Still I 60kph on a stretch of then N2 is ludicrously slow, I believe that they reduced the speed limit there precisely to trap motorists and increase revenues.


NEWS AND VIEWS

The penis flytrap has apparently been launched in SA. This is a device that is shaped like a condom and inserted like a tampon and "bites" into any offending object subsequently inserted. What has our world come to? Still it should come with a warning sign.

That raises an interesting question. It is illegal to trap your property to avoid theft, even with a warning sign, I wonder how the courts would rule on this one. Two wrongs don't make a right you know.

A thief has stolen millions of rands worth of lego in the states after swapping barcodes with less expensive items. He used to steal the expensive lego sets and sell them online for a profit. When he was caught he had 66 Lego Millennium Falcon sets, I don't blame him, that lego star wars is teh bomb. They needed a truck to confiscate all the stolen lego from his home. Lego means "play well" in Danish.

Boart has public ally announced that he stands by the Kazakh government in their decision to sue Sacha Baron Cohen. Even though I don't love Da Ali G Show I have to admit that Cohen is a comedic genius.

Mo Shaik has told media on behalf of JZ that they expect a rape charge. This after the police handed over the docket to the National Prosecuting Authority urging them to charge him. Apparently the DNA evidence collected matched Zuma, and they have a Prima Face case. While the ANCYL has renewed their support for the former deputy president the SACP and COSATU have stated that they have never backed Zuma as their preferred succession candidate. It seems that the 'Zuma for President' t-shirts are evidence to the contrary. And just in case you didn't know, the cost of JZ's ongoing VIP protection is costing the tax payers R 102 633 per month.

On a lighter note we may be looking at another cold war as the Chinese are putting more people into space while the USA space program remains grounded. China also state that they want their own space station and could make lunar landings within the next ten to fifteen years. The states plans to resume lunar missions around 2016.


SCOPING

I was typing out a spec for internal development today and I got to the part of the template that dealt with scope. I decided to have a bit of a laugh and put the following in under the "OUT OF SCOPE" heading:

Nothing is out of scope, everything is in scope, including world peace!

That'll teach them for giving me control of the scope. Ha ha ha you fools!!


AMUSEING PIC




YO LET'S GET OUTA HERE, WORD TO YOUR MOTHER

Ice Ice baby to go....

I've been listening to a bunch of what used to be regarded as "Heavy Metal" in the eighties. All I can say is that it's laughable what people get up in arms about, the lyrics of the average pop song these days are more inflammatory. My point here is relax people, these things are not as important as you think.

Well, it looks as if my home dentistry needs some attention so that's what I'm off to do now.

schpat out.

Friday, November 25, 2005

You can't fight City Hall

DRAWN OUT DRAMA

Well, I went to the city hall to speak to them about a fine I got for driving without a licence. I explained that I did in fact have a licence, but it was stolen six months ago and I have applied for a new one, but it has not yet arrived. Well of course, they sent me to speak with someone else. On my way to the fourth person I had to speak to I was starting to be reminded of the Twelve Tasks of Asterix. When I got to the office there was a huge Astrix poster next to it, the Cape Town Children’s library is opposite the corridor. I can't help thinking that some petty bureaucrat is having a laugh. Well I was defeated, they took my fine forms, didn't give me a receipt, and told be to come back on Wednesday.

City Hall 1
Schpat O

ON THE WIRES

This church in Norway has had a Harry Potter themed mass to coincide with the release of the new movie there. They played the theme music and the participants were dressed in fancy dress including dark robes. Obviously some people were upset. A theologian named Hakon Stornes, who is also a priest, criticised the service:

"Harry Potter's literary universe is set in a magical adventure land, far from what children today experience as relevant for their daily lives."

My answer to that: "Yeah, and 2000 years ago the Middle East was exactly like suburban Norway!"

Scientist and the General Public both agree that Newton had more of an impact the Einstein. the survey showed that 50.1% of the public preferred Newton over Einstein (49.9%). Newton won by more of a landslide among scientists thought, 60.9% vs 39.1%.

A man in Croatia is trying to settle his debts by selling is body parts. The has offered a kidney and a cornea up for sale, even though it is illegal to do so in Croatia. He owes about R245 000.

FREEGANISIM

Well a story on IOL today brought a group calling themselves "Freegans" to my attention. If you hate the consumer world we live in and don't want to contribute to it then Freeganisim is the answer to you. A lot like the way vegans believe that by not partaking of animal products they are not contributing to the demand and therefore the industry, these people believe that if you only use stuff that was free then you are not contributing to the rising consumerism. How do you go about getting all this free stuff? Well the answer is simple: Dumpster Diving. They claim to get nearly everything for free from dumpsters, including food. For shelter they squat. If you feel an urgent need to become a freeloading hippie you can check out this site for more info. What I found quite amusing was that there was a section of the site the sold how to guides, as an example there is a 22 min how to video for sale for $20. Everything for free huh?

HUH???



SINGING OFF

Last night at role-plying I realised that our little Thursday night [why isn't that Thursnight?] group has two couples in it! I'm starting to feel out numbered, maybe HoleyCrusader and I should "hook-up" so that we don't feel left out. Other than that I'm going to my folks for supper now also I'm bummed that today isn't payday like I thought, gonna have to wait till Monday. Five week months, don't ya love 'em.

schpat

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Early morning issues

Physics is screwing with my sleep patterns. The sun is now rising (I realise the sun doesn't rise but that the earth rotates) really early, to top it off my new flat is higher than the last one and my bedroom has a different facing. The results of this are that full daylight happens at about 5:30. It's like living in bloody Durban! Well, when the sun comes up it's the cue to my cat that it's breakfast time, cats don't have snooze buttons!

Why don't cats have snooze buttons? If they did they'd never get fed in the morning. Their owners would just continue to hit the button until it was so late that they barely had time to shower and dress before being late for work.

CREATIONISIM

I went to that site recommended by Koos and read a few of the articles. I specifically read a few of the articles that discount evolution and I thought that some very interesting points were raised. If that's where it stopped it would be cool, unfortunately it didn't stop there, the basic arguments were:

1. Some people believe in evolution and not creation
2. We have found some holes in the theory of evolution
3. Therefore evolution is crap
4. Therefore creation is the way to go.

This is quite obviously a fallacious argument, just because two theories have been proposed and one is proved incorrect doesn't mean that the other is correct. Another article written by Richard Deem (the site creator) explains how we know that God created the universe, by misusing Occham's Razor. I'll summarise here:

1. In order for the Big Bang to have occurred "by itself" an almost infinite number of random variables would have to coincide, or an omnipotent being could simply have created it.
2. Occham's Razor states that when the answer is unknown, the simplest option should be preferred.
3. God creating the universe is simpler than a bazillion variables coming together therefore God created the universe.

Ape ManThe main problem with this use of Occham's Razor is that it presupposes the existence of God. It doesn't factor in the complexities of an omnipotent being who can do anything, except create a rock that he cannot lift.

I ordinarily wouldn't have gone into this, but today is the 146th anniversary of the publication of "on The Origin of Species". Look at the guy in the right here, how can you tell me he didn't descend from the apes!

FROM THE WIRES

Some Swedish girls have developed an anti rape belt. It's really simple, basically it takes two hands to unfasten and makes rape a much more complicated affair.

A club owner burnt down his establishment after trying to prove to safety inspectors that the paper hangings could not cause a major fire. The question I'd like answered: "Is it arson?"

Our friend JZ is still entitled to all his perks of being deputy president, even though he was fired! Also the police have found seaman in the pants provided by the rape accuser. If ol' JZ did rape this woman it would prove that he's even more stupid than we thought, it's commonly known that she's HIV positive. The ANC have been very quiet about the fighting within the party, but Bantu Holimisa has a thing or two to say about it. Bantu formed the UDM after being kicked out of the ANC after he accused some of it's members of corruption, seems they've always been intolerant of these kind of things.

Well the X box 360 was released, and already people are selling it on Ebay" for twice the asking price. Also there have been loads of complaints about the hardware crashing.

Can you believe that a South African started PayPal, I didn't know. Also he sold that and another web company for almost three times as much as Mark Shuttleworth did. The only difference is that he was living in the states at the time, and he's less of a hippie. Any way there's something about South African Billionaires and space, this guy didn't just go, he's turned it into his next business venture, cheaply launching satellites.


AMUSEING PICTURE

What were they thinking??? Another font please!

Mega Movis would have worked

OUT OF HERE

Well, it's late and I have to refuel my chariot before role-playing. TallAndSkinny was very late on tuesday night and I blame that for the lack of gaming activity.

schpat

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Another long, yet interesting, post

I TAKE IT BACK


Well I've had to review my thinking on the police force here in South Africa, here's why. On Sunday I had to go to my local police station in order to get some documents signed. I got to chatting to the inspector (the guy what is in charge) and he filled me in on a few horrifying details.

The first thing he told me about was the disastrous staff shortages. The police station in Pinelands is manned by only three people at any one time. One of them is left at the station and the other two cruise around in their van. This isn't just for Pinelands either, they also cover Ndebeni and parts of Epping and Langa. Just three policemen! There are sometimes six of them on duty, during a shift change.

The second thing was the shocking salaries these guys are paid. The inspector I spoke with told me that he had been with the police force for sixteen year, during which time he had earned a diploma and a degree in policing through UNISA. In any corporate environment the guy in charge of a section, with vast experience and qualifications would be raking it in every month, this guy's salary: R7 500. For less experiences and more junior officers it's much less than that. That's just shocking, there is no incentive to become a police officer, and you can understand why these guys accept bribes.

Well, you say, poor pay is fine because it's really easy to become a cop, no real prior qualifications are necessary. Well that's true, in fact the third thing the inspector told me was that they had dropped a lot of the entry requirements making it even easier to become a cop. Obviously this is because the average person who used to meet the requirements could probably get a better job elsewhere. So this leads to moronic policemen.

The fourth thing the inspector told me was that the police, until very recently, used to work 12 hour shifts with four days on and four days off. During their off time they would be able to supplement their income by working for private security firms, often paying more than the police. In the four day off period it was easy to work three eight hour shifts and effectively double their income. So what does the SAPS human resource department do about this, well they stop it of course. Now policemen work eight hour shifts five days on and two days off, while this does mean more policemen it effectively prevents them from moonlighting. Also those extra policemen are all working at different times which doesn't help the staff shortage at all.

So what does all this mean to my stand point on the cops?

Well the thing is this, I sympathise with them. I mean who'd want to be over worked and under paid? We all joke about this but these guys really are. With the seriously little money these guys are paid they need to supplement their income somehow. Is it their fault that they take bribes and don't do their jobs properly because they don't earn enough? Hell yeah it is! But I still feel sorry for them. It isn't however their fault that they are under-qualified and under-experienced to do their jobs.

In short, I still don't trust the police, but I've got masses of sympathy for them.

IN THE NEWS


Well to tie into the main opinion piece on this post here is an article about how some weapons were stolen from the police station in Maitland. One Shotgun and three handguns, the perfect starter kit for armed robberies.

This guy claims he was harrased by a ghost for sex for sixteen years before an exorcism was performed. The exorcism consisted mainly of offering the ghost a groom in the form of a paper doll, to ensure that the ghost would accept the proposal a paper maid and butler were also provided to show that the groom would be able to look after his spouse. All three were sent up in smoke.

Here's one for Zen and I to be worried about. Scientists have stated that the hookah may be hazardous to your health. It may cause gum disease just like regular smoking does. Nothing fun is ever good for you is it?

Teens sells mom's home porn. Yes, that's right a teen who stole her mom's video camera and sold it to a friend didn't realise that mommy and her boyfriend had left a little bonus material on the cassette. The mother's boyfriend found out when the footage started circulating in the neighbourhood.

And to challenge your notions on prehistoric plant life scientists have discovered that dinos dined on grass! This means that dinosaurs were around at the same time as grass, which flies in the face of previously held scientific theory, the impact of this is that dinosaurs and mammals might have co-inhabited the mad ball we call Earth. Wow, if scientists are wrong about this then maybe they're wrong about that whole evolution thing too!

Some women in the Good Ol' U S of A called the 911 emergency number to complain that her onion rings were cold. The waiter had brought her food to here cold, she phoned because she wanted the police to do something about it. Well they did, they high-tailed it on over there to arrest her ass!

And finally something to give you a good scare, at least if you live in the northern areas of our country. Prez Mugabe has announced that Zimbabwe will begin to dabble in nuclear power. Yep, that's right, they've found deposits of uranium and now they want to use them to produce electricity, apparently from scratch! Hey, it's a perfect excuse for the yanks to come in a depose an undemocratic regime, a pity they don't have anything valuable like oil!

THOSE CRAZY KENYANS


I thought this follow-up story deserved its own section. Kenyan voters have declared that vitamin C is much better that potasium! or is that oranges make better juice than bananas! or is it that they are unhappy with the current president! or maybe that they didn't agree with the draft constitution that had been put before parliament, nah couldn't have been that, that's way to complicated an issue.

The democratic process was ridiculed yesterday when masses of Kenyan voters voted for fruit. I really don't understand how the complex issues that surround an new constitution can be understood by the voting public when they can't even tell the difference between "YES" and "NO". The whole thing was a sham, it ended up being a popularity contest in which supporters of various political parties (mostly organised on tribal lines) were told which fruit to draw their "X" next to. Apparently it's easier to be democratic when people do what they are told!

Actually I'm glad the vote ended up as a "NO", but it's a far cry from actual democracy.

ANOTHER AMUSING PICTURE


I'm very surprised that no one has spotted any resemblance to any one we know in the picture with the gorilla. C'mon people do I have to spell it out?

Here is an amusing notice form a newspaper, I think it's rather funny actually.



SIGNING OFF

Well not much to say in the sign off, I've said a lot already. I'm off to role-playing tonight so that should be fun, unless of course TallAndSkinny doesn't pitch, then it'll probably be majong or something.

schpat out

PS: no power failures interrupted this post!

Friday, November 18, 2005

It never rains...

IT'S ONLY A GAME

Well it was an interesting game last night. We met a new character and got to totally mess with some poncy elves! Henri would probably have been friendlier if they had treated the party with a little more respect, but when you approach us with that air of superiority you just gota take what you get. Also just remember that Henri is not above shooting overly poncy, unreasonable elves in the back.

The new character seems a bit odd, but much nicer and friendlier than the one who is leaving. This is probably better for party cohesion.

GRAND THEFT AUTO

Well after everyone else had left I stood around and chatted to Zenstar at the car for a bit. Then got in my car and left down the road, that was at about 12:30am. Suddenly there are these really bright lights in my rear-view mirror and they're really close and moving quickly! I go "fuck, where did they come from?" Now at this point I think it's some dodgy drunk student and I decide ok, put some distance between us. "Warp speed Mr Sulu." (I would have said 'ramming speed' but now that we know about Sulu I didn't think that was such a good idea) Anyway, the more distance I give the fuckers, the closer they seem to get, fuck, give an inch and all that. I'm now starting to get worried, so I put peddle to metal and head round the corner into Alma Rd with a little hand brake assistance.

OMFG these guys are still behind me and closing in, I gotta get onto Liesbek so that I got more options, these back streets are really cramped! Ok avoid robots on Alma by sliding round the corner and really gunning it to the little on-ramp to Liesbek. They start flashing their head lights and I realise that they really are after me, I'm not just imagining it. I'm worried, what if they are just trying to tell me about something, but what if they want to like hijack and rob me? I decide that the best course of action is to actually stop in the on-ramp so that they can't pull up next to me. So I stop there and open the door, I step out of the car, grabbing a large bludgeoning implement on the way, only to find myself about to threaten a pair of cops, who are dumbfounded and currently reaching for their weapons.

I inform them that they scared the bajeebers out of me, and instruct them that a simple flash of those nifty blue lights would have avoided all the confusion. They understand and decide not to shoot me, a good thing all in all. Apparently they saw me getting into a car and leaving late at night and suspected me to be a car thief, they were close by with their lights off. I tell them thanks for protecting and serving, but think to myself that the average car thief doesn't exit the building with two other people, open the car, dump some stuff in it, see one of the others off in his car, chat to the other person for half an hour then leave; I didn't point this out of course. I think they felt quite sheepish about the whole not using the blue lights thing because they seemed as happy to see me leave as I was to get out of there. I still don't trust the cops though.



IN THE NEWS

These British folks are going to try fooling eight reality tv contestants that they have been sent to space. I think anyone with half a brain cell would realise if the launch was faked, but it might be good for a laugh. It does however raise ethical question about lying to people, it's the closest thing to the Truman Show I can think of, and that's kinda cool.

In another brilliant move the South African government has decided to sign a joint defence agreement with Zimbabwe. I mean WTF!??!!?! In the article the Zimbabwe's Minister for State Dydimus Mutasa is quoted as saying:

"The greatest threats to the stability of the region and Zimbabwe in particular is the threat of exogenous influences whose aim is to effect regime change especially in regards to my country"

How exactly did you guys get into power again, comrade?

In the same article Zimbabwe Defence Minister Sydney Sekeramayi said accounts of human rights abuses in Zimbabwe were merely imagined. Merely Imagined? that to the refugees.

I know this pic is actually anti-yank propaganda, but the message applies equally well here.



FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT

Does anyone in this photo look familar to you?



Here is another one that ties in with moonflake's post. While I resemble that remark I still agree with what moonflake is saying. Also I'm not at the pushing others out of their airline seats yet, the seats is snug, but I still fit. Also, like I said in my 20 random things, I realise that there is an issue and that I should do something about it.



I'm not as big as this dude am I? Someone would tell me if I was, right?

THATS IT FOR THIS WEEK

Well folks, that's all she wrote. This weekend I plan on not doing much at all, I may check out Episode II in Lego Star Wars.

cheers
schpat

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Eskom hates me!

Well It's been a long while since I blogged, I apologise for the delay, but work has been very hectic. We're currently planning for the festive season, our biggest time of year, and the stress is piling on. I'll do my best to at least post something small every day, but no promises!

RECENT EVENTS

One of the other reasons you haven’t had a post in so long was the huge power failure on friday. I was a long was through a long post on friday when some bright-spark computer program decided to drop the rods into the reactor core. I lost everything (oh the irony!!).

Well I had Zenstar round for supper twice over the weekend, I've been bowling (this is a lot of fun), And I performed home dentistry on myself last night (obviously that’s now the night before last). After my home (pain free) dentistry Elisabeth and I sat on our balcony enjoying the view, evening, good coffee and a nice cigar, it was very cool. I'll be doing that more often.

It's good to see that Total Waste's hot meat on Moonflake's chin is more important that the RAF, it got more comments!

SCHPATCON UPDATE

Well, they news is both good and bad. The bad news is that the date we chose (3rd December) clashes with ObsFest. Now I know we can't compete with drunken revelry so I decided to move SchpatCON out by two weeks until Saturday the 17th, this gives us yet another occasion for drunken revelry. The good news is that it means we have more time to sort out all the timing issues we've had due to hectic work pressure and unforeseen international business trips. I promise that SchpatCON will be worth the wait.

NEWS STORIES

I'm not going to bore you with too much detail here, but I've got some stuff I'd like to point out.

Doctors claim that this guy in the UK hasBeaten AIDS. Apparently his sample tested positive and then some time later another sample tested negative. They've apparently checked both samples for contamination and to verify that they are from the same source.

Some guy calculated that Flying to Hong Kong is Cheaper than Telkom ADSL. Actually it's cheaper to fly to Hong Kong and Download 100GB of data at an internet cafe than it is to Download the same amount of data over the fastest Telkom ADSL line, about R1,900 cheaper! Also it only takes like a day and a half as oppose to nine and a half days here. I haven’t checked the calcs, but its interesting.

I'm sure that you know by now that ex-dep-prez JZ has been in the news again, this time with allergations of rape. Now the ANCWL (that's woman's league) is getting in on the action demanding that the case is treated in a very serious light. This is doing nothing to fix the divide between JZ and TM, but they keep denying these tensions exist. They also vehemently deny that there has been any cover up, judge for yourselves. Now it seems as if Cosatu is rethinking it support after this newest allegation. Wow, that's a lot of links for one story. Don't you think it's strange that IOL hasn't set up a separate section for ZumaGate? (yep I've named it) At the moment they still have a section for the Shaik trial, do you think that they might be scared about drawing attention to the person who might become our next Prez?

beep ba beep ba beep beep beep

This just in: ARRGHHH!

Another power failure while typing a blog post!!!! Luckily I had saved recently. Twice now an "anomaly in the power grid" caused Koeberg computer program to drop the control rods and "cool" the reactor. Sounds like a Star Trek plot doesn't it? Just replace 'power' with 'sub-space' and 'reactor' with 'warp-core' and you'll see what I mean. Now Star Trek plots are made up to make us happy, where eskom's stories also fabricated to keep us happy? To point out one little issue with their story: They claim that yesterday's issue was caused by a fire under a transmission line about 80km from CT, but the relevant fire department denies that any fire existed! Is Green Peace right? Or is it Green Peace causing these issues? Mmm interesting!

We now return you to your scheduled programming

beep ba beep ba beep beep beep

Major retailers are planning on trading using finger prints as a method of payment instead of cash or credit cards. But even they admit:

"However, if a criminal chops of someone's finger or hand, then it could be used for a while, and thereafter would be useless. We are busy working on this and investigating different technology to detect this."

LOOTER GUY



This is the last picture of looter guy. Stay tuned, a new series starts soon.

NO ONE IS GAY FOR MOLEMAN

The Simpsons was especially funny last night, they used a “look into the future with the true science of Astrology” to see how the simpsons were fareing 8 years later. Well Bart and Lisa were teens and there were robots everywhere, even a special appearance by Futurama’s Bender. It also had a really adult theme with much more innuendo and sexuality than normal, because Bart and Lisa were teens. The heading here was really much funnier in context, a context I am not going to explain!

TRAINNG DAY

I’ve just had my Fire Marshal training and boy am I glad Denzel Washington wasn’t in charge. I now know where the radios are and what to do in case of an emergency or drill. Also I get to say “COPY”, “COME IN” and “OVER”, woot.

SIGNING OFF

Well, it's taken a long time to get this post to you, but now you have it. Also I've updated the news section of the blog and the links. If anyone out there knows a way to update this sections without updating the blogger template, please let me know.

I’m looking forward to role-playing tonight, it think there’s role-playing tonight.

cheers
schpat

Monday, November 07, 2005

AIDS-MAN!

THE WEEKEND

Well I had a really cool and productive weekend. Saturday morning was a lot of sleeping and relaxing, the afternoon was a lot of general housework. The relaxing really helped getting me energised to do the work. On Sunday morning I discovered that Zenstar and Moonflake's fridge had packed up and the freezer compartment was full of food that would rot if quick action was not taken. I went round to pick the stuff up and invited Zen round for supper, because Moonie is away, he had an exam today and I wanted to make sure he had a decent meal. Actually It was really because I could! I cooked Pork Chops marinated in cider with garlic and rosemary. It was yummy. Then we sat on the balcony chatting with Elisabeth for many hours, I hope his exam went well.

IN THE NEWS

Aids man gets prison time. At first I thought that this story might be about a new super hero being unfairly punished because the public were not fully aware of the good he was doing, but I was mistaken. This is a story of a modern-day Typhoid Mary spreading one of the worst communicable diseases in history. I'm glad this guy is getting jail time, but one has to ask what kind of president is being set. Engaging in unprotected sex is risky business, his partners knew that, by not telling them that he was HIV+ was he putting them in more danger than a prudent person would expect? If you answered yes is a friend who purposely understates the statistical probability of death during sky-diving responsible when his buddy is planted? Just a slippery slope for you to think about.

Copernicus' bones found. The remains of the man currently held responsible for Heliocentric theory have apparently been discovered. They plan on doing DNA tests to see if it really is him, although getting comparative samples might be a problem. Now, if it were Galileo's bones they'd have found getting a DNA sample would have been a piece of cake, his hand was removed and stored in the Vatican after his death. They probably also know that it was his body because it would be missing a hand!

Zenstar and I both, independently, claimed to have seen shooting stars last night. Well apparently now is a good time for viewing them, check out this story. At least we weren't in the grip of some kind of mass hysteria or anything.

BODY CORPORATE

Well last week the body corporate of my block had a meeting, unfortunately not enough people arrived to achieve quorum. That sounds sordid! Anyway, the meeting has been rescheduled for today so I'll be off to that soon.

cheers
schpat

ALMOST FORGOT THE LOOTING


Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Christmas Special

So It's been a little while since I’ve blogged, that's because I've been doing loads of work and a little bit of research for the Schpat Dope. I've had a mostly uninteresting week, I visited Zenstar on Tuesday night and we took a little trip to the V&A where we checked out the gadget and toy shops, had Ice-cream and generally arbed for a bit.

HERE'S SOME STUFF FROM THE NEWS


More corruption in the government. I'm sure that by now this totally doesn't shock you at all, but it's always good to know when your Deputy President AND your President have both been implicated in separate corruption scandals. Seriously, undermining a UN trade embargo is a pretty stupid move. I doubt anything will actually come of this, but give it a read.

Another case of mob justice. But surprising about this was that the police were there the whole time, but claim they were powerless to stop it. Personally when people resort to being mobs and start handing out mob justice, it is completely within the bounds of the law to start shooting them, trust me this'll knock the steam right out of them. I think it's more likely a case of the cops wishing they could do what the rest of the crowd was doing, especially since he was suspected of shooting a cop the day before. To be clear here, I feel very little for the know criminal that was killed here, but I still believe that he deserved a fair and speedy trial. As a side note, count the number of time the word "alleged" is used in the article.

How to pleasure yourself and others. This is apparently what a "guide for girls" published by the Women's Institute of the central northern region of Castilla La Mancha in Spain should have been called. The publishers intended for the guide to be a guide on how to "love themselves" and how to give "give sexual expression to others". The guide, aimed at 11 to 18 year olds and distributed in schools, suggested that girls find a "confidante" to give them full body massages, it included pictures of girl on girl massage action. Sounds like a fun read, where can I get one?

I LOVE IT WHEN LOOTING COMES TOGETHER



ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Yes folks, as you've noticed I've added a little widget to the blog that shows where people are reading from. It's quite a nifty little thing that I found thanks to ChityChityBangBang!. What I've noticed is that I have a regular reader in south eastern Europe, probably Croatia or Slovakia. Whoever you are I'd really appreciate it if you give us a shout and let us know exactly where you are. If you have a blog I'd love to reciprocate and read it. I love the way the internet has shrunk the world.

I've also noticed that about an equal number of people read my blog in Jo'burg and Cape Town. If you're in Jozi and reading this drop in a comment. Hell for that matter if you're reading this and have never commented before drop me a comment so I know whom to add to my Christmas card list.

In fact, everybody who responds to this post, local or international, will get a Christmas card from me this year. All you need to do is post a comment saying what town and country you're from, and a blog address if you have one. Then mail me at schpat@gmail.com with your actual address and I'll stick something in the post forthwith.

That's it for today
schpat out